Book of Bill Vol. 1: Henry IV/V feat. A Hiddlestoner

Book of Bill Vol. 1: Henry IV/V feat. A Hiddlestoner


[Nic:] The Ramblin’ Tea house is an
entertainment only podcast meaning we’re for entertainment only while laughter is
the best medicine it’s not the only medical attention you should be seeking. [Lilli:] We have the same amount of medical degrees as WebMD; which is to say, [Both:] none. [Lilli:] here at The Rambling Tea House we endeavor to handle all topics as respectfully as
possible but to err is human. (Nic:] so please tip your waitress. be out by
closing time, and please don’t park over the line. [Nic:] people are gonna hear us talk now which I mean it’s what they came here for so [Lilli:] I mean I think they came
here for the pie and the booze [Nic:] you’re not wrong that’s exactly why they came
here but we paid for that advert space we said live entertainment it’s not my
fault nobody else will play here it’s slightly my fault nobody else will play
here [Lilli:]I mean you are kind of in charge of booking because making phone calls
scares the shit out of me so yeah I’m gonna I’m gonna put that on
your shoulder [Nic:] I called everybody though though, no one would play here not even
the spoken word guy. [Lilli:] I was just gonna say what about the spoken word guy [Nic:] and we paid him real
money not even I mean he refunded us [Lilli:] but how could he refund us he was more broke than we were [Nic:] I know he was so bad anyway it was just
so bad [Lilli:]so bad no no George Watsky to be seen yeah
[Nic:] also you can only see so many people gyrating too synonyms for light before
you go crazy so don’t ever go to Community College spoken word night
that’s all I could tell you [Lilli:] where you just really bored [Nic:] it’s a parallel universe promise you free coffee didn’t they there was free food [Nic:] yeah there was free
food it was actually just a plate of like half-assed carrots and some punch
that was questionable but yeah they had coffee [Lilli:] questionable as in was there
alcohol in it or questionable as in dose that flavor-aide smell like cyanide to you
[Nic:] questionable like I don’t think anybody you should ever have drank that
punch I don’t know if it has ever been good well past due date by a couple
centuries [Lilli:] that still yeah just a hunch yeah kind of looks like antifreeze yeah
yeah no so definitely flavor a tin cyanide yeah
there was a port for kool-aid where they to pour four kool-aid or did
kool-aid not like sell down in South America no they were just too far for
kool-aid yeah I was thinking maybe maybe Jim
Jones thought that brand products were all part of the
capitalist I mean yeah I’ll escape but free-for-alls for getting around those
pesky you know trademarks a little bit more capitalist I think it’s bad that
when people make don’t drink the kool-aid jokes my initial response is
guys was flavor aid yeah you do I watch you make that joke a couple
times it’s not even joking I’m just correcting them because they’re wrong
yeah but your reaction is 100% here what time is it we should get up onstage oh
shit we should today’s special at the rambling tea house is a pig’s foot
marinated in juniper berry vinegar served on a buckwheat pancake sounds
disgusting well with period-accurate so you were you were telling me you had a
whole thing planned for today I am going to do right by my freshman English
teacher and I’m gonna spend this entire bottle of mead talking about Shakespeare
yes I just know he’s a dyslexic inspiration because if you can’t find a
word make him up him and Edgar Allan Poe man if whenever my mom tried to correct
me on my spelling of words like necessary I would say if Edgar Allan Poe
can make up tintinnabulation that I can spell necessary however I want with how
many seasons you can fit in there we know what you mean I told him more than
once if he made out with a raccoon he was gonna get us all sick yeah but that
didn’t stop him fucking trash pizza I made my favorite thing if their little
hands and how they’ll like don’t wash their hands before they like pick up
their food like because they’re clean all all gents they are their little
gentleman they always wear their suits make sure it’s all pinstripe
anyway I just I just need to be known that I did not make out with the raccoon
I just had to stand in someone’s vicinity so I made I have never and will
never make out with the raccoon because I have standards Kevin yeah she’s
talking to you is there any other Kevin in the room no no there’s not
[Nic:]don’t raise your hand sir continue Shakespeare Shakespeare so I literally
do not know where to begin with Shakespeare because you could talk about
so many sides of it but I feel like a good place to start because I’m not
gonna talk about it a lot here’s the fact that he wrote his place
like I don’t know how else to tell people that the writer was the bard was
a writer that that the author was the author yeah what I don’t know and the
thing is is that that claim has validity now because we don’t realize that the
first time that claim of another secret author was made was over a hundred years
after Shakespeare’s death yeah so it was long after he had gone and people were
starting to make conspiracy theories about him like Oh was it him was it
Marlowe was it Queen Elizabeth herself Oh gasp it was obviously a Queen
Elizabeth’s love child okay we all know this I mean are we talking about her
love child with one of her courtiers or her love child with the not-so pirate
definitely a pirate Walter Raleigh boat both things conspired together
they they had they had the same they had one drink in a drink three rich white
guys just walked in everything you know that Shakespeare’s a lie it was three
minutes full-on little rescue style so the first
thing I learned when I really started learning about
Shakespeare was that it’s not as lofty as we think it is
we always there’s so many dick jokes it’s ridiculous you dick jokes alcohol
jokes syphilis jokes like he just loves talking about all the gross things that
you weren’t supposed to talk about and yeah part of that is because a lot of
Shakespeare’s work was influenced by the arena in which he performed his plays
yeah that the lay man the everyday yeah the cheap seats down yeah and they’re
literally right by the stage there’s no even now after the rebuilding of the
Globe Theatre which is not in its original location it’s just a little bit
down because there was like house is there something apparently it’s like
rude to keep people out of their homes yes whatever the cheap seats were known
to bring not so fresh produce with them just to throw at the stage in the event
that it was garbage and then you had you just gotta let him know you just saw his
crap and then you had the rich people who actually got seats with cushions its
to really really live in that high life and you couldn’t use all lofty verse or
you lose the audience but you also couldn’t have just nothing but prosaic
dick jokes or you’d make the ladies up top and their husbands who funded you
just oh no blush it’s okay she was sleeping with the main actor anyway you
can usually distinguish which lines or scenes are intended for which section of
the audience by identifying whether their prose or verse prose is a little
more straightforward you’ll find it in the common characters like you see it in
the nurse in Romeo and Juliet you see it in snug the joiner and the rest of the
theatrical cast in Midsummer Night’s Dream basically any person that’s not
nobility speaks in this prosaic way that would have been rather natural
understandable to the people on the ground floor and then you can see it
really specifically anytime Shakespeare uses Fay or characters from another
world or anyone who’s particularly lofty or not from our plane of existence they
always use this really ornate verse style but you can
see when you look at the text which I’m actually gonna get out right I’m gonna
get out my Shakespeare see if I can see it here I thought that one still throw
out people who weren’t being good oh you you don’t you don’t throw books at
people damage is fine that’s why you buy the cheap books no the books don’t
deserve that what’s true humans are filthy no I’m
just saying it’s very interesting growing up around university town that
has a whole season dedicated to Shakespeare you learn a lot more about
it and it’s less in schools yeah and more just kind of things you pick up
yeah and also I think the big problem teaching in schools is a lot of times
it’s taught in English classes and not theatre classes a lot of people brush
off Shakespeare or don’t like Shakespeare or don’t really understand
Shakespeare because they have to read it and Shakespeare was never meant to be or
it’s not Lord of the Rings you don’t sit down and read the dialogue and just have
your cup of tea and go about your day it’s meant to be performed it’s a script
yeah well Tolkien also did that he was high language and low language yeah
because he was in so those people are different cuz people are different yeah
snug the joiner is gonna talk different than titania queen of the fairies just
like Samwise Gamgee is gonna talk different than Galadriel it’s the same
principle yeah it’s like humans aren’t cardboard
cutouts it’s weird really what we’re the matrix we all know
it just this time you need to accept it that’s why they’re getting rid of pay
phones it is or were there ever pay phones so it was the thing we were
looking up you can literally see the differentiation and dialogue on the
edges of the text and the more simple dialogue tends to have smoother edges
whereas the more complex verse like dialogue tends to be kind of jagged yes
it looks like the difference between a g-rated thick any em read no Nikki had
to call me out like that hey I was an editor for people I saw something during
the 2000s and the grand per years I don’t talk about this anymore remember I
asked you if you were gonna be okay with editing some of my fix because they were
explicit in nature and you literally just passed me a post-it note that said
Lily I edited six during the early 2000s vampire era
only Anne Rice she sued her um fans and then used some of that materials anyway
that’s a literally the worst thing I’ve ever like I just I can’t even I can’t
fathom suing she’s the reason that those types of sites a lot of people still use
disclaimers yeah like I don’t own this this is not what’s the word supported by
the original author this is not an official like licensed product and new
people to the Internet are like how you how to do this like we get it no I
thought Douglas Adams in a parking lot won the duel so I could write about
whatever I want anyway I feel like Douglas Adams would actually
duel you like with swords at dawn with a like referee yeah but it would have to
be like the Mars dawn or something it would also be have to be like squirt
guns full of fruit punch or something yes I’m like that’s something ridiculous
yeah also no matter what he wins so he has to yes
very much though yeah I was just double-checking you think yeah sure just
I’m just making sure he’s dead I mean Douglas Adams is the kind of person who
I could see who would fake his death just to like fuck off to the Andy
somewhere I hope that’s what happened I know it’s not but I hope that’s like I
like my cousin’s guinea pig died we said it went to England can you pick go to
England they went to England Lily why it went to England why would you become
buddy that and why did they believe it because she was very young and she knew
what happened she knew what was going on but we all just agreed like Santa Claus
to believe that just a little magic you just believe you hope a miracle happen
it probably didn’t yeah pretty much got you yeah got you also I buried him in a
British tea box so I mean technically like it’s a real fucked up sense of
humor there Nick I have a fucked up sounds like a very favored you I’m not
lying oh and I’m not telling the truth either
it’s gonna say a thing oh I cannot possibly unpack the entire length and
breadth of Shakespeare’s work particularly considering that some of
his works have been completely lost to history
unfinished some of them unfinished yes like that’s what happened when people
die people die speaking of how writing works writing is
hugely affected by the perceptions ideals, politics at the time and I think
a lot of people like to forget that oh I really influenced by the politics the
time and I think a lot of people like to forget that was Shakespeare his earliest
plays where the history plays one of which is my favorite out of all the
Shakespeare plays they have assisted in cementing a huge piece of English
history in the public consciousness but the thing is is that most people now
realize that a large part of those plays was just Elizabethan propaganda because
Elizabeth came from the line of Tudor and a lot of those plays are about the
formation of the Tudor family and their rise to power through the War of the
Roses which is kind of comparable to our Civil War had a thing and I lost it I
was going there and then it disappeared into the fog like Henry the sixth who by
the end of the play is running around mad Civil War Civil War so the plays
make it seem like the tutors were right to take the throne I can tell you for
certain we don’t care it’s like you’re worried about your own life not other
people’s yeah fancy bag your own business real simple why are you so
chill cuz I’m minding my business it’s it’s like one of the best memes I’ve
ever seen because he’s literally just flopped on the floor like there’s stuff
underneath him his head’s only partway on a beanbag and he’s just like the
chillest just living his life like I do I’m long I yearn I aim to be as chill as
that fucking guy so step one mind your business I’m trying I’m having to
unlearn lots of years of white suburban training where it is like your job to
spy on your neighbors where if you don’t know what Cindy and Tracy and Karen are
up to you’re biting the fucking ball you’re just you’re slacking sometimes
you do know you know what you do with that information
not a damn you say hello everyone so they all know because nobody actually
wants to talk to Karen Cindy or whatever no no see that’s where we eat the squirt
bottles bad Lily that’s what I do I’m so no that’s hot to see no quit spreading
that’s how you do it just let that go you’re telling the
story so you gotta let that go you do not a
damn thing with that information and you move on manners are not culturally
specific it’s just manners just be a good decent
human which makes me think of the fact that a lot of people accuse Shakespeare
of being unfeminist you know stuff to remember the time yeah there weren’t
feminists back then or if they were there wasn’t a name for them I mean he
had a queen for a ruler so he had probably had more egalitarian views of
women than a lot of people I think everyone’s just grumpy about like Taming
of the Shrew and the fact that there isn’t as many great Shakespearean roles
for women as there are for men so women couldn’t perform in plays right
so if he was gonna get a cruise gonna get a girl he had to get a young boy and
I don’t know if people understand biology but they don’t stay young and
feminine looking for very long no it’s kind of like this whole puberty thing
going on it’s like humans continue to grow no matter how much we’ve aimed for
immortality yeah that’s okay someone will fix the programming to matrix we’ll
just add that feature in add that mod I’ll finally get the DLC downloaded 14
million years later aha I’ve got it now on my computer so I can download the
download and then I’ll be able to play it yeah I don’t even play PC that’s not
sure I play one PC game where I get to play God it’s cumin your sims is a very
terrifying thing to experience most people that play the sims design the
house they make the families and they murder people those are the three things
that people do in the sins I got to hear about how you murdered a family and then
you explain to me how it was all the Sims I didn’t hear the lead-up and then
you’re just talking about leaving them in the pool and just the house on fire
will bring the property value down see you put him in the pool and they they
fixed it now in the car and you’re so upset by just all that they fixed it now
back in the previous versions if they didn’t have stairs they couldn’t get out
and then drowned in the drown and then you get to have a baby and bring another
person into the field because you can only have eight people at a time so you
got to get rid of granny sadistically and now I know my grandma got rid of her
pool I’m just kidding I know you look like
all right listen got it Sam’s God of War what stab stab die die so dark stole its
status AB crying hi yeah I didn’t believe you if that was the unofficial
name until you said that around someone there like Oh Dark Souls I’m like what
this just happened yeah steps up crack stab stab cry cry so stab stab cry cry
could really be described as also the catchphrase for a lot of Shakespeare’s
dramas he was just drama and humor and drama
and sadness humor and sadness and then maybe we’ll mix them together boom and
there you have Henry the fourth part one which is ‘turn down for what’ but also
like internal angst and political strife and did my dad steal the throne do I
have the right to ascend to the throne I’m not cut out for this yeah
if it’s so much ado about nothing just humor humor so dark humor you sometimes
forget that Beatrice and Benedick are not the lead characters of much ado
about nothing characters are actually claudio and hero yeah but they’re not
those are not it’s one of those plays where it’s about the group of people
that is a subtle cast yeah it’s an ensemble cast it’s so main focus it’s
it’s about all the war and politics and also this young couple who’s going to
live happily ever after and then death okay and then everything’s happy and so
I’ve been pissed at Claudio since my freshman year of high school cuz sure
Trust trust Prince John once but the second time the second time he tries to
fool Claudio by showing his ladies stupid another dude you would think at
that at that moment you’ve gone way way I’ve been played by this by this guy
before he’s got to be lying to me cuz I know the love of my life wasn’t it for
five minutes I know if she wouldn’t do me dirty like that this guy who I gone
to war with must be lying he would think he would give the girl a benefit of a
doubt but no she’s a wanton harlot and I have to disgrace her at her wedding in
front of her entire family great once again that instant love
connection now I will love you forever it’s been a whole two minutes
that’s called infatuation I mean you need to get laid which I’ve met some
people who it was a very quick developmental relationship
that’s the exception that proves the rule
I actually really like Beatrice and Benedick for just that reason because
it’s honestly a more accurate depiction of romance like yeah we have known you
for years I fucking hate you that’s so good to see
you man where should I hop to next who’s talking
we’re talking we’re talking about Claudia you’ll fall for it once
sure fall for it twice you’re a fucking idiot who doesn’t deserve her yeah what
does it fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me
so base nice I was obviously no no that’s Impala just behavior I will not
stand for it yeah but Claudio like if he weren’t
played by Wilson from house I would hate him the fact that he’s played by young
like Dead Poets Society Wilson is the redeeming quality like you’re played by
law by the fight if you weren’t him I’d hate you so much
also that was a movie that taught me to love Denzel Washington she’s fond of
Denzel Washington in the way that I’m fond of Tom Hiddleston yes and a lot of
people were at that time but she played in some Shakespeare Tom Hiddleston her
Denzel obviously Lily both of them yeah we’re just literally talking about much
ado about nothing where he plays the Prince he plays Henry the Henry the
fourth no no no no no no Henry the fifth in Henry the fourth but in Henry the
fourth he is not yet Henry the fifth because his father played by Jeremy
Irons is still alive so he’s how yeah and what’s this was another cool thing
too is that Shakespeare uses names in that in that specific instance to
differentiate in character development because when he is how he is this young
rambunctious I’m gonna go party with the Canadian town yeah I’m gonna get drunk
and I’m gonna stay lay and I’m gonna dismiss my handlers and no needs Henry I
am Henry and a religious person whatever yeah but I don’t know I say whatever
that’s like my Henry the fourth part one is my favorite play yes no it was
because of Tom Hiddleston but because Henry the fourth part one if you want to
get into history plays that would be the one I advise because it has a lot of
time spent on the cheap side of town so the
language is more pros than verse so you have a lot of that really easier
Shakespearean language to get a hold of also there’s like 20 minutes that is
just like Shakespeare’s version of will durval doramas yo mama yeah it’s
literally just like you starveling you dried meats tongue in bull’s pizzle you
yeah I just it just goes on and on I’m just 20 minutes of like thrown insult
what’s amazing is in the movie version that I love it’s Tom Hiddleston and
Simon Russell Beale who I didn’t think I could find a single living person who
had a better handle on Shakespeare than Kenneth’s fucking brought up Simon
Russell Beale makes Kenneth look like a freshman in an English class yes he just
has such a natural handle on Shakespeare and that’s the thing is that if people
are doing Shakespeare in a holier than that Oh Titus come hither sort of way
that they’re not really getting the handle on Shakespeare because
Shakespeare supposed to be chief entertainment for the masses like I’m
sorry if it’s the kind of play where you have to worry about people throwing
tomatoes at you yeah you’re not doing your job that and it’s not a lofty art
yeah I was gonna go somewhere with this it’s good I completely lost
I mean we’re throwing insults it’s Henry the fourth part one history anyway is my
favorite play one because the first time I ever saw it was with Thomas William
Hiddleston okay and anyone who knows me knows how much I am fond of that little
Brit and I hate it no you don’t I don’t hate it but I don’t
like I hate being a grown woman who’s infatuated with a British movie actor it
is a bit stereotypical it is a bit stare difficult but he’s so fucking talented
yes yes he is he’s also been in three Shakespeare plays that I own and can
watch anytime that I want so that’s a real that’s a real bonus to me that he
doesn’t just do like stage Shakespeare although he recently did a version of
Hamlet with Kenneth Branagh directing yes he only did on stage and I’m super
bummed that it’s not on a like a DVD format that I can watch every day for
the rest of my life yeah the Royal Shakespeare Company doesn’t I
don’t get why Broadway plays and like royal theatre companies don’t record and
sell their plays they still see it as a privilege not a right
I like Broadway like oh we don’t want people pirating or shows that record a
copy yourself and sell it to us because people will pay for that shit
yeah because the opening monologue performed by how is so relatable it’s a
little mind-bending because you think this is a monologue written by a man
from Edwardian not Edwardian fuck Elizabethan England who’s writing about
what would be comparable in timespan to our First World War first or second war
is about that about that far away from where he was writing like there there
shouldn’t be anything relatable about this but people are the same no matter
where you go though those people are basically the same and the model
actually interesting because try to talk about the monologue without doing the
monologue because I don’t want to do that – you do it most of them a shady
shady bastard yeah so at the middle of the monologue he says and when this
loose behavior I throw off and paid the debt I never promise that by how much
better in my word I am by so much will I falsify men’s hopes that lays out his
entire character progression for the next three plays all through Henry the
fourth part one all through Henry the fifth up until he dies of dysentery
which is actually what happened it’s really sad that one of England’s
greatest kings died on the toidy which I feel like is really relatable
considering that’s how Elvis died although Elvis was not one of our
greatest kings can he stole all of his music from black women that’s beside the
point no that’s not the point that’s not
beside the point that is the point dysentery this area was the point but
yes you’re not wrong that’s why you know taking care of yourself is important and
don’t drink gross water we don’t drink gross water and we don’t go pillaging
and warring in France are you saying dirty fucker no I’m saying he got it
when he was over there like messing with their lives he was over there trying to
lay claim to France based on his ancestral lineage
oh well Edward the Black Prince of Wales conquered France so I now have write a
fuck off man England is enough just leave it alone so maybe don’t come over
and just take people’s things I mean that’s don’t take things from people
just don’t take things from people that is people just of this is that bad
things would happen if you don’t take things that aren’t yours you could also
go back a bit and go to the logical don’t take Alice lipping dragon because
henry v tom hiddleston did not have any interest in going to war at all let
alone war with france until the Dhofar until the Prince of France sent him a
cask of tennis balls saying like the balls in your court game on sort of
thing huh it was like oh I’m gonna taunt you because I am the Prince of France
and you can’t do anything to me and I’m not going to try to do a friend’s accent
because I don’t want to offend anybody I think you’re more worried about
offending yourself but okay yeah I am cuz I took French class and I’ll know
that the accent sounds bad also just it’s easy to hear maybe it’s not my my
French teacher in high school was like madam Trelawney but was short hair in a
poodle do you remember her no do you remember in the language hallway that
room at the very very end of the hallway nope oh well I was doing other stuff you
were you were like living your life and working and trying to stay alive anyways
I told my mom that I had my French teacher was basically madam Trelawney
but French and she didn’t believe me and then we went for a parent-teacher
conference oh no my feelings are hurt I’ll tell two of my feelings I feel like
everyone else has two brain cells and you have two emotions and they’re just
sitting there like yeah yeah it’s called a sociopathy I also I’m kidding by the
way part of it is also the fact that you just have this amazing ability where you
don’t give a shit about things that don’t affect you well kind of but yeah
you could narrow it down to that baseline I mean this does not all of
your butt I can see some sort of rolodex going on
in your head I’m not sure exactly what’s saying to you but saying something it’s
a it’s something under the fourth Bart went along I think my favorite play
containing some amazing monologues it also has this character this person who
is not real but by virtue of how well he was written and the Titans of acting
that have played him over history he’s kind of taken on a life of his own he
was such a popular character that after this play came out Shakespeare had to
write a hasty sequel because everyone’s like fuck the kings and queens through
an actual part of our history no we want to know about this guy
Falstaff a single named Plain Dealing villain which i think is actually
aligned from much ado about nothing Shakespeare created Falstaff as kind of
a everyman character that the people in the cheap seats could relate to while he
was talking about these mythic Kings from England’s great history he’s like
okay I need some sort of ballbuster to mix in with all these great men I need a
great man from Eastcheap I need a great man from the slums of town I need a man
who is not great by virtue of his deeds by a virtue of his charisma I need a guy
who even though he’s an absolute garbage human you just can’t help but love
you’re just a terrible awful person and I hope everything happens for you yeah
he’s an asshole but he’s our asshole Falstaff is the epitome of that guy and
he is the person that I think how henry v has the most complex relation with you
could argue doesn’t he have a more complex
relationship with his father I’m like well it’s the prince and this criminal
you’re supposed to be the epitome of the royal house you are supposed to uphold
your family’s honor you are supposed to be your on the example to look up to a
nice lemonade at 3:00 a.m. with with this drunk professional pickpocket
there’s a whole scene where he’s talking to how at the beginning he’s like
there’s no sin for a man to labor in his vocation talking about like you get me
in trouble for picking a pocket when you’re King like I’m just doing my job
Falstaff could very much be compared or contrariwise cos Falstaff
came first could very much be compared to I don’t know his first name but
Doolittle Alfred Alfred P Doolittle Eliza’s father in my fair lady ah he’s
just this drunken loud obnoxious strangely a moral character who in his
people watching as a drunk with no job which is what ya can confer ya gets to
see a lot of human interaction and even though he’s kind of a moral himself he
understands a lot about psychology and unfortunately just use it to manipulate
people but I think one of the greatest questions that you could ask about that
play is whether Falstaff’s feelings for how are genuine there’s a lot of debate
amongst Shakespearean scholars and fans and even the characters themselves the
characters around Falstaff and Hal and even Hal himself about whether or not
this relationship is genuine like if he wasn’t the prince would this be a
friendship yeah exactly hit the nail on the head and I used to think that yeah
you know Falstaff does you know in his own way love Henry and and he just he
doesn’t know how to show it and he has his own internal problems a blah blah
blah blah blah but I think an easier more more cut I think more streamlined
way of looking at it is Falstaff loved how that was physically incapable of
loving Henry yes like he loved the boy couldn’t handle the man and that’s
really really plainly seen in oh god I don’t remember it’s the end of Henry the
fourth part 1 or Henry the fourth it has to be the end of Henry the fourth part
too because in Henry at the end of Henry the fourth part 1 Hal has a battle with
Harry Percy Hal kills Henry Henry and Hal are the great rivals two stars keep
not their motion in one sphere those kind of characters and how kills Henry
Falstaff watches it happen how sees Falstaff at some point in the battle
knapping thinks he’s dead Falstaff then shows up after the battle having claimed
to have killed Henry himself mm-hmm and then house like bitch I saw
you I thought you were dead I grieved over your body and now not only are you
alive but you’re trying to take credit for my kill you mmm the rage of the
confusion Falstaff this this this horse backbreaker as how it calls him gets
knighted because he kills the threat to the throne yeah yeah it has steel eyes
he lies he does what you don’t want to do he does he does him and then he gets
money and miraculously good Scout big shock there but at the end of Henry the
fourth part to Henry the fourth has died which means naturally how has to become
Henry the fifth and there’s this marvelous moment that Hiddleston plays
out perfectly where Henry the fourth is sick and dying and how is at his bed
keeping an eye on him fall asleep wakes up thinks that his father has died takes
the crown walks to the throne and the series the movie version is called the
hollow crown which i think is a really great title not only as a piece of
dialogue from the plays but he’s sitting there at the throne with this crown this
heavy piece of metal that dubs him the ruler of all the land and I think the
thing that makes it hollow is one of the things that makes it Hollow is that he
rises to power through the death of his father I don’t think that’s something we
give and also he became someone who wasn’t he wasn’t a real person he was
this Henry the fifth character he was who he was supposed to be not who he was but there’s this beautiful moment that
Hiddleston plays out where he’s holding the crown he’s thinking about okay I am
now the king I have this whole country on my shoulders and my father is dead he
just breaks down in tears finds out very shortly after that that his father is
not in fact dead but when his father does die he has to become King and
there’s this beautiful marvelous heartbreaking moment in the during the
coronation where Hal is ascending to the role of King and Falstaff literally
interrupts the coronation to say like hey
it’s me it’s your old buddy it’s your old pal how about we go like slim it and
East sheep let’s drink some sac and sugar and let’s let’s just have like
ourselves a good old time and how literally acts like he doesn’t know him
because this person he must become doesn’t know him yeah fuck you what are
you doing get on the way and it doesn’t even require guards you just watch every
piece of armor that Falstaff has constructed over his years this bravado
literally everything rolls off his back there is this one scene I’m gonna see if
I can remember the dialogue actually I don’t have to remember the dialogue the
fancy schmancy book has all of the answers for only $24.99 you two can have
this copy of Lily’s Shakespeare all the works it’s just four easy payments of
$24.99 did I say four I mean six but don’t worry it the shipping and handling
is more than you can afford so please dial in now enter Sir John
Falstaff spinach what what’s the part you were thinking of because right now
we have four offers going for this book Lily come on research and research you
guys said you wanted music Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob there’s a guy in here his name
is Sir Walter blunt and I feel like there’s a there it probably is a joke
Shakespeare well it’s not a classy man no we’re not for laughing I should pity
him okay I’m on the right track this is the part that I’m reading now I hope how
is drunk on the cheap seats with a friend I mean you do like you do and
he’s how gets how gets drunk that is the that is the first part of the play that
is the first how gets you up how gets drunk heart one and then how gets sober
/ – and the how becomes King goes to war well it’s part to know that that’s this
part here he drunk he drunk so basically imagine the future king imagine Prince
William of England sitting in the scummiest bar you could possibly imagine
on the cheap side of town Nico goes okay so the waiter is not very bright and all
he ever talks about his work and he’s not really smart so
we’re gonna follow fit so you you sit in that room and you call his name and he’s
not gonna want to tell me no or leave me alone come the Prince you can’t just
walk away from the Prince but he has to do his job so I’m gonna keep asking him
a name questions and then you keep calling his name and we’re just gonna
fuck with him like a ping-pong ball yep I’m just gonna mess with this guy
because I’m the Prince tell me the Francis my lord
how long has got Sir Francis pursue five years five just being that dick yeah
five years the long release for the clinking of future present now Francis
just beyond that Nick just some people man were not beat up enough as children
and it shows David Hockey Francis but the sugar that games me oh I would it
would too so I will give thee four thousand pound just being that fucking
guy yeah just being an asshole because you drunken he can Falstaff is
so thick-skinned that even when called on the carpet by the king he still finds
a way out of it so rewind like you do away from the coronation back to Henry
the fourth part one they’re all chillin at this bar in Eastcheap and the prince
knowing that he can fuck with Falstaff royally goes much we take a purse to
morrow Jack and Falstaff goes is there is there work to be had and someone says
that the Kings Exchequer is going to be travelling which means all the money is
gonna be on the fucking road like this is your chance they go to Falstaff and
two of his drunken friends go to rob the Kings Exchequer they do it amazingly I
don’t know how but they’ve got the money and then the prince and his friend who
reminds me a lot of you coins steal it back from them yep with almost no work
basically they just pop out and go hey we’re here and they’re like ah ah they
run away and there’s there’s literally a terrible criminal he’s a terrible
criminal but there’s a point where he like he like Falls and injures himself
while he’s trying to waterway and the Prince goes we’re not for pitying I
should laugh but so the Prince knows that anything Falstaff says about
night is going to be allied I was the whole point is what if we set this guy
up to tell a story just to tear it down cuz we know he builds stories higher
than anybody they stole the money they’re now in the bar that next evening
waiting for Falstaff to show up which is when he plays the trick on Francis and
on Francis no friends but tomorrow Francis her front some Thursday indeed
friends when thou wilt but Francis so after that Falstaff shows up yes he and
his friends are covered in bowls in their clothes their swords are hacked
and they’re like oh the trials the travails the things we’ve been through
you would not believe trying to act like they’ve been through this couldn’t tell
the truth to save his life could not tell the truth to save his life he got
his friends in on this Falstaff is sitting there telling the whole bar
about this great adventure that he’s gone on to get this money I don’t know
if I thought with all but but it’s not 50 of them Oh 50 Wow and the prince is
just like oh gosh just playing along for the whole thing just just letting them
stack the Jenga bricks a little bit more up a little bit more a little bit boo
looks like ooh yep sounds uh how about right now
destroy that story this is the prince why how couldst I know these men in
Kendal green when it was so dark don’t see thy hat and the point this is like
come your reason Jack your reason this would be you like no no no I’m a bad cop
you super-hard drunk at no no no you do when people do that you know so what
happened well it just happened no no tell me tell me exactly what happened
and then it falls down why did you say that can we prevent sweet beats and the
Falstaff in the format of compulsive liars the world over says what upon
compulsion zooming all the racks in the world not
tell you fuckin bullshit which is basically the equivalent of well you’re
stupid so so then the Prince after letting this go on for about 20-25
minutes is I will be no longer guilty of this sin this sanguine coward this bed
depressor this horse backbreaker this huge hill of flesh and then John
Falstaff boom right there Falstaff comes in with you starveling you drive neat’s
tongue and bull’s pizzle you stock fish just goes on on just insulting each
other and then why’d you fall starts insulting the air
parent so picture some fucking drunk at your local scummy pub talk and shit to
Prince William see you can’t you can’t talk shit unless it’s true hmm so
Falstaff insults him back because that’s what Falstaff do what repartee if you
will the Prince is like okay let me uh you a fucking liar you a fucking lawyer
this guy is just spent the last 20 minutes going I faced so many people and
my life was at such peril and I had I almost died I see but I know for a fact
you were a liar because I was fucking there I’m the one that you fought I’m
the one that took your money what you got now what cards you have what could
you possibly throw at me yeah and then the friend coins you in this situation
it’s like come let’s see Oh Jack what trick cast that now like okay yeah soon
she goes so what actually happened so after after we beat you shamelessly then
you got in the fight yeah Falstaff to his eternal fucking credit goes by the
Lord I knew ye as well as he that made you ya
know so I I had to be a coward for you which dude come on man he’s just been
shown up in front of all of his friends like what’s what you gonna do now like
I’ve proven you a liar and he’s like I wasn’t lying I just what was I gonna do
kill the future King of England Inc with that I was doing you was I was gonna say
I was being a good friend a good citizen I had to be a coward
I had to what other choice I have so I had to lie well so I had to lie what
else was I supposed to do is I supposed to do was I supposed to kill you
but then be huh yeah and tell them that you were a thief you want me to tell
people you want me to acting your good name yeah bullshit bullshit right also
all of the hollow crown plays are for free on PBS Oh
hi-def check that shit out goodness I know you have cuz you never sleep there
talk about other people other so I’m not the only person in the world I’ve been
lied to my entire life they’ve spent the last half hour just dueling with words
and the Prince and Tom Hiddleston access now marvelously just sits there and
waits for which is exactly how you do it you don’t hang them you let them hang
themselves otherwise it’s just no fun it is
it’s so I mean no it’s about the honesty not the fun yeah very shortly after this
Mary my world there’s a normal bit of coded door would speak with you he says
it comes from your father and then drunken friend Henry at three
o’clock in the fucking morning give him as much as making the Royal man and send
him back to my mother pay man how did I forget about this part
oh my god your fool I have a fool how dare you I can count okay so there’s no
shame I am shame there’s a scene where how
later Tom Hiddleston you’re sure yes impersonates his father and I can count
the number of times I fangirl that hard on one hand because in the movie version
it’s Tom Hiddleston portraying Jeremy Irons a royal man comes to the door and
says one of your family members has been kidnapped by a warring faction and
instead of going home and facing his dad like he’s supposed to
Falstaff goes you know you’re gonna be in a lot of trouble tomorrow so why
don’t we have a play and you practice your answer and the Prince says do that
stand for me and and judge me upon the particulars of my life they can watch
the hollow crown Lily they can I believe in them kind of Kevin’s just kind of an
absolutely so there’s a bit where first Athens thank you
anyway there’s a bit where Falstaff is describing himself he’s playing Henry
the fourth and he’s talking about Henry I normally Marvel where thou spendest
thy time but also how they watch accompanied here hanging out on the
cheap side of town with these undesirables and at the very end he goes
yet there is a virtuous man who I’ve often noted in my company but but I know
not his name and the prince goes oh and Falstaff in front of God and everybody
goes a goodly hopefully man just just talk about himself just I’m the greatest
you know just that’s so great so cool I’m so I’m up there oh now I remember me
his name is just laying it on thick Henry pretending to be his father
talking to Falstaff is pretending to be him so well so got the prince plain his
father we got Falstaff played in the Prince yep
and we’ve got the whole drunken Audie just watching this shit play out so why
it just out conversed with that trunk of humours wearin is he good but it tastes
a sack and drinkin wearin eaten plenty but to call the cape on and eat it
wearin cunning but in croft or in crafty but in villainy wearin villainous but in
all things wherein worthy but in nothing and in that moment when you’re like oh
my god how long God’s green earth is falstaff gonna shake this off what the
fuck is you can do how is how are you possibly going to top this I would your
grace would take me with you who means your grace yeah I saw a paragraph of
insults laid upon Ernie’s look I know it’s like you’re talking about awesome
dust the rubble off his shoulder like ya compulsive liars man go for it and this
is when it gets kind of it’s gonna sad there’s a brief brief little moment in
there he’s like no don’t get rid of me see this just the broken the weak and
the sole weakness and the fragility behind all that bravado on a separate
note grocery lists can be rather incriminating don’t you believe like yes
they can sometimes you just gotta you just gotta buy some trash bags some
ammonia some bleach the rope so just so you can keep those people at the outlet
in the store just guessing and it makes people leave you alone Lilly so what you
do it people come to the door looking for also I need trash man falstaff hides
and falls asleep because he’s drunk like any checks out like any good friend
they pick his pocket they go through his finger through his pocket looks a little
less what you do but yeah we just talked about the pocket thing check it out
first to just looks like read Shakespeare so
he buys two gallons of alcohol and a little bit of sugar which when they say
sugar they literally mean like brown sugar in like a little ball mm-hmm and
just a little bit of bread I thought about going to the store and buying all
of these items and then just setting them on the table and being like you
know Nick if I if I had a receipt for these ingredients in my pocket what the
fuck would you think sack sugar bread so you have an alcohol base you have a food
source for your alcohol and you have sugar
you’d be questioning my life choices at that point yeah it happens when you’re
an alcoholic it happens but I think it’s interesting just enough to stay alive
such a it’s such a little thing like the shopping list the receipts in his pocket
but it tells you so much about his character which is like that you’re
supposed to show not tell in writing what Shakespeare does a lot Shakespeare
does a lot a lot a lot it’s more about what’s not said which it’s also a play
so you’re supposed to have the facial expressions to go along with these lines
which most people don’t understand because they read it that’s what they’re
told you have to read Shakespeare not man you shouldn’t read Shakespeare no
that’s why a lot of kids that grow up around the festivals that I went to as
kids understand Shakespeare because we got to sign it yeah god dammit Kevin
that’s for the outdoor cats you cannot just stick your whole head in the water
bowl we have cups it’s not stopping them I think that guy bet him five bucks oh
come on man no Kevin was a fool I feel like one of the reasons I want to talk
so much about Henry the fourth is I feel like people think Shakespeare is boring
enough in a Shakespearean history play has got to be the second worst thing
next to a root canal without anesthesia you just looked at me very very
interesting everybody thinks the root canals were saying it’s real but it’s
not it seems like just a horrible thing like it couldn’t possibly get more
boring than Shakespeare’s history plays but Shakespeare understood that the
history was not exactly an easy subject to engage with even then so he created
characters like Falstaff that make it so enjoyable because you don’t just have
these mythic characters these kings and queens these lords these epic battles
you have these regular every people’s normal people people that were normal
that or who are do when people think people who are doing people things just
know everyday like royalty and yeah it makes these characters in these plays so
much easier to digest when you have characters like Falstaff and points we
even though he’s a noble is always kind of like the go-between Henry and the
King and Henry and Falstaff he’s the courtier he is very much the course here
he’s also the best friend who’s just like hey I’m gonna make sure you don’t
get into too much trouble without me um a lot like you it’s how you do it no I’m
not gonna stop you from drinking I’m just gonna stop you from drinking and
driving have fun don’t be stupid yeah that’s
what I mean good friend would do you’re your own person what you’re gonna do
whatever you’re gonna do because you know you have free will congratulations
I know it sounds like a lie but I mean there’s there’s several books that came
to the subject but are we throwing down that gauntlet today Nick do we have time
to unpack all of that speaking of gauntlet speaking of godless
that’s how this whole mess with the history play starts in Richard ii
there’s a line where the person accused of treason says the greatest joy that
mortal times can afford a spotless reputation yeah especially if you want
to be a criminal this time to do it it’s not working out too well for Falstaff I
think he has the exact opposite of a spotless reputation which also he owns
that reputation him damn Kevin gauntlets treason gauntlets treason
murder a new name in clubs there’s actually a really great monologue in
Richard the second thing is in the opening of the hollow crown I’m gonna go
get table for some coffee while you look at it okay
there is a monologue in Richard ii which is kind of in the middle of the play
when things are already starting to fall apart and he’s clearly losing his mind
or has lost his mind and it’s just starting to unravel they use it in the
beginning of the movie the monologue itself is much longer than what they use
in the film big shock there I mean you have to fit it into a concise time frame
and it’s to air on public television is weird it’s crowdfunded apparently that’s
what they’re telling me they say let’s talk of graves of worms of epitaphs
let’s sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of kings that piece
right there also much like Henry just kind of lays out the whole history plays
which is the history plays this is the history plays I feel like that’s
Shakespeare speaking directly to the audience because you can just imagine
like the poor poppers down on the floor listening to these great monologues and
then someone’s like hey let’s uh I’m gonna draw right on you there’s actually
a beautiful moment in the beginning of henry v where chorus actually becomes
like a real person when tasked with something like staging
the Battle of Agincourt in a theater and Shakespeare doesn’t even worry about
that he literally asks the audience to cram the whole sphere of the world into
this wooden Oh mm-hmm to actively use your imagination to envision the horses
and the mud and the rain and the mountains and the fields of Oz
core yeah it’s you paint the picture with the words and then you have the
stage where you have the main focus of these two characters locked in this epic
battle and if you don’t realize that it’s two guys on stage playing with
wooden sticks one six yeah there’s a because it draws you in well and that
and it’s so interesting because he doesn’t just do it and then expect the
audience to play along he actively says hey guys
so kind of on a shoestring budget here can you just pretend that we have what
we have coconuts and just pretend they’re horses I’m fairly certain that’s
Romani Python got the idea actually it’s because they used all their money on
other things that’s why the film kind of just ends cuz they were out of money and
that’s why the opening for the Holy Grail it’s just a bunch of random ass
credits because the credits are the most expensive part and they had no money
really yeah they just did not have the budget predator the most expensive part
you have to pay graphic designers back then because we didn’t have the same
technology we had then as we have now where it’s I could create credits
credits yeah you had to have you know computers were all too accessible oh
yeah I don’t pay someone to run those and that cost lots and lots of cash so
well they couldn’t pay for the horses let alone the animal handlers and the
fees and the person that comes and make sure that your treatment horse is
correctly lodging the ASPCA so the coconuts in hamsters Oh sirs I’m just
making do Python references I know where does the hamster I I thought you meant
like an actual hamster in the movie like they couldn’t afford a rabbits that’s
not the answer no that’s all I could for with the rabbit believe it or not I know
rabbits are inherently evil but that one was fake I know crazy but what yeah they
it was too dangerous to bring an actual bunny on set as we know they’re
bloodthirsty monsters will be abyss can’t tell me how everything’s no they
weren’t all that brave it wasn’t a real bunny sorry and I held them in such high
esteem yeah you thought they were that DND party that made it they weren’t they
are what every dandy party becomes but not too Monty Python and from Monty
Python we v that’s a long way it is it was a
journey that’s a lot wow that’s uh there’s a great monologue in Henry v
where he’s at the gates of hafla and he’s just laid siege to this town and
he’s coming through the gates the literal conquering hero or villain
depending on the kind of starts out the caker all depends on your point of view
and it’s interesting that you mentioned that because he comes in the conquering
hero like I’ve won the battle and then he gives this horrifying speech so he
comes through after conquering this city and goes from being the win till we take
a purse to Morrow Jack you know what Trek has thought now and Nan Francis no
Francis tomorrow Francis beador indeed Francis on Thursday if he goes from
being that drunken like playin rich kid yes billionaire genius billionaire
playboy philanthropist that guy but lacking thought philanthropy but he
talked about some just a horrifying I am the conquering hero I’ll shut down
before me yes and resoundingly no I might end up reading this whole thing so
we’ll see oh no so he’s just he just conquered this town and he comes in all
high and mighty on his horse oh yes resolves the governor of the town
like are you are you done are you fucking done yet are you I like it I can
keep kicking your ass do you need me to keep kicking your ass I can’t I really
don’t want to but yeah have you tapped out yet uncle are you gonna stop out if
I begin the battery once again I will not leave the hospital until in her
ashes she lie buried the gates of Mercy she’ll be all shut up he go he goes all
the way he he went all the way one two one thousand
yeah basically are you guys gonna surrender or am I gonna unleash my angry
hordes upon you and let them do whatever the hell they want you you hear that and
to see it played by one actor you get to see this guy who went from being the
type to prank people by jumping out of the forest and startling them and would
hang out with poor people in the cheap seats just for the company too
I’m gonna I’m gonna stick your infants on pikes and a curb stomp your fucking
grandpa I’m gonna do all manner of things to
your daughters and I’m just gonna light this place on fire just don’t fuck don’t
fuck with me I’m gonna need job listen or it’s gonna go now I’m gonna need Java
listen yeah went from being how to beam Henry the fish yeah the right and
terrible really taking after is ancestor at the Black Prince of Wales and I think
that’s crazy moment in the play because you go from the boy to the man and then
from the man to the soldier and the king and you kind of wonder how do you how do
you come back from that like how do you think how feels about himself at that
point God he gets so many great moments in Henry v there’s a moment that’s very
subversive where how as henry v goes in disguise around his camps the day before
the Battle of Agincourt he gets to hear the common folk not the noble men on
horseback but the guys trudging around in the mud who only signed up for
adventure and money he gets to hear the opposing opinion all I think there’s a
bunch of bullshit and why should we have to die on foreign soil because this you
know King doesn’t know how to settle his own affairs bottle the bottle of law if
you imagine being a commoner in the cheap seats back in the Elizabethan era
where you were just now figuring out that royalty was not like divinely
ordained what do you mean Nobles are just like us what do you mean this
commoner had the gall to speak to a prince like that actually funny because
they start fighting they start like dueling with their words
I don’t remember it’s Henry that throws down his gauge first or the poor guy
think that the poor guy it’s the commoner that throws the the grunt that
throws down his gauge so the Prince throws his down takes the man’s gauge
after the Battle of Agincourt has gone and you can look it up in the history
books ocean core is a mind-bending battle so he’s just won a historic
battle lost almost no one when he thought he and everyone and his group
were going to die he’s relieved beyond his senses and then that guy finds his
way back to him and is like hey hey hey you hey yeah words with you oh no no I’m
mixing my plays up I can’t believe that just happened
it’s okay he is talking to the prince as the prince because the prince calls for
him cool now I’m in Henry v I don’t know where the fuck I just want
so the Prince calls for the man the man is like oh yeah it was a good right
battle and we survived and I’m very very you are the Prince yeah you’re you’re
the Prince for the King now King this is the bowing and the scraping the Prince
makes a comment about his glove that’s in the man’s like belt no it’s not about
if I ever see this man again I said a give him a what for and the Prince
because he can takes out the man’s claw but it’s like oh it was me yes so we
were looking for and of course immediately the guys like I can’t fight
I can’t eat I’m uh I’m in a lot of trouble so then
the Prince probably won because he just didn’t want to fight anymore and –
probably because he was so happy that he didn’t die Phil’s the guys got lit up
with gold and sends him on his way right that’s how you do it that’s how you do
it you put someone in a situation like that
and you just don’t be a dick there’s also a really touching mode at the very
end of the play where he meets his wife who’s French and she didn’t speak a word
English and he doesn’t speak a word of French and it’s all very sweet I’ve
always liked that scene because I feel like because he just conquered her
country he could treat her like absolute garbage but he’s you just saw this man
who was talking about spitting infants on pikes and and and bashing people’s
heads in and just he just killed a bunch of triple ax murder and he just killed a
bunch of people in the battlefield like he’s clearly capable of doing these
these horrible things and there’s a oh god I almost forgot about that there’s a
part that they leave out of the movies for good reason the opposing force kills
all of the boys but that the English keep with them for like I don’t know
carrying equipment and running yes those are the Squires and the pages yeah that
kills all of them and leaves their bodies to be found by the English oh yes
indeed they leave that out of the movies also that amount of prosthetics or
murder are both unacceptable one financially one morally just out of
budget fuck but he has the right to treat her
like garbage here’s another right he has the ability to treat her like garbage he
could get away we could get away with it like and you can see that he’s capable
of doing these really awful things but then when this pretty girl comes up and
she’s like hi your wife he’s like I don’t I speak the
language was she really pretty and I know the kissing sound I suddenly like
French girls do before them everybody think you’re fuck you in km Casey please laughter he just murdered a fuck ton of
people as it were as it were yeah he’s just oh my gosh yes he for you girl what
what do i I don’t know Shakespeare is a very interesting man terms written a
play as such he’s a he’s really not wrong about how humans are he’s not the
funny thing he’s very in tune with the human condition and what I think is
amazing too is that Shakespeare gets taken all over the world so it’s not
just a Western thing like people all over the planet relate to his stories
and his narrative and the way he taps into the human condition and I know
people always talk about the dramas as a way that really like the the stories
that really get deep into the soul and talk about the nature of things but I
mean you can’t be happy all the time it’s not how life works that’s true but
I feel like there’s a lot of knowledge in the comedies that gets missed it does
it’s something it’s glossed over there’s a lot of actual plot and
behind-the-scenes work in the comedies that unless you actually look into it
it’s not very present because you weren’t alive during the time that the
play was written I don’t know I don’t know about you but I mean well and like
there’s also there’s a lot lost in the pronunciation too because a lot of time
people can’t hear the meter and rhythm because in modern English or even modern
American English the way we print out specifically the vowels and consonants
at the end of words is different than how they did it then there’s a really
easy example that I’m borrowing from some masters of original pronunciation
Shakespeare it’s in as you like it where the the court jester basically says from
hour to hour we reap and reap and from hour to hour we rot
which doesn’t sound like a whole lot when when you do it in the original
pronunciation the the vowel changes very heavily and it turns into from Hauer to
how are we would rape and rape it’s a syphilis joke it’s a comment
about the King’s disease and venereal disease and our treatment of women
hidden in a single line that gets glossed over because we say our h’s and
our EA’s differently yeah don’t we don’t speak proper English we don’t um we also
don’t speak Middle English oh we don’t speak Middle English as Chaucer watch to
his dismay we lose a lot of those little almost cultural inside jokes because of
the way we choose to pronounce things I think a lot of people are worried about
performing Shakespeare because they’re like oh god how do I pronounce it and
really he made up his own word he made up his own words really just say it
however it comes out of your body a good easy suggestion would be just round the
vowels a bit don’t flatten them out the way Americans do flat whe New Zealand is
flat in their veils yes they do I’ll never get that out of my head yeah so
Henry the fourth Lily’s love for Henry the fourth and touching on Shakespeare
really just just mainly what Shakespeare did really just just my love of Tom
Hiddleston in the plays he’s been in yeah if somebody asked me what my
favorite movies were I’d be in kind of an awkward position I know all you’d
have to do is just narrow it down to Tom Hiddleston you’re not wrong I’m not seen
your movie collection I’m also seeing where some of those movies sit and
compared to the rest of them I always put the hollow crown on the top of the
Shakespeare pile it’s not even kind of an accident I know it’s because I like
looking at their pretty faces it also has been Whishaw and Jeremy Irons and I
refuse to drool over Ben which shot one cuz he’s gay and I don’t want to be that
street passing woman who thinks that she can fawn over gay men and you can just
enjoy someone for being attractive she’s like hey good job dude look you got the
you got a face okay that’s a good one go you and that’s how to give a compliment
without being creepy but just super awkward damn you gotta face it that’s
good one you keep doing you that’s how I feel about Chris Pine I’m
just like you know what you’re all right you got you got that face your face and
then symmetry how you do that stuff good job well we’ll save the Shakespeare
stuff Henry and forth for a couple a couple episodes because clearly I had a
lot of feelings about her a lot of feelings about Henry the fourth and I’m
pretty sure we’re gonna be open for a few more nights at least hopefully we’ll
see Shakespeare tends to tends to bring them in if not Shakespeare than Falstaff
Falstaff they’re literally just here for the food no one pays attention no one
pays attention but they would pay attention to John Falstaff because he
would walk around at the tables and make them pay attention it would be as an
anti Kevin he would be the anti Kevin everyone would love him but I find
interesting too is that some when asked what role Patrick Stewart want to play
above any he said Falstaff and I find that so interesting because I always
think of Patrick Stewart is such a morally upright like character even I
saw a picture of him with like a ridiculous hat in a bathtub the one
Falstaff the lobster in the bathtub yeah yes yeah or it might have been yeah
you’re right it was a full costume it was a full obstacle soon yeah see he’s
the Falstaff is he yes he would play an exit Falstaff anyone yeah yeah I know I
cannot stress how much I appreciate who can actually change their
micro-expressions like Andrew Scott sure Moriarty
which one BBC yes where you him just watch the crazy like how do you do that
and he just kind of flicks it on you can feel like oh yeah micro-expressions not
just body language which I don’t know if that’s the actual term micro-expressions
yeah yeah that’s this totally the term to all the little face changes where my
face isn’t gonna change but my face is changing which is a microexpression
right in front of you yeah what’s not said as important is what is said hmm so
not tell which is why Shakespeare should be a place which I experience it be
plays and not if I just read that out before I never seen a plate I’d be like
yep the fuck are you talking about I think once again that’s why a lot of
people go off to death and die I mean the
consumption was very prevalent even then yeah I can’t wait till this is over so
it’s why a lot of people that grow up around expert no I’m kidding I’m kidding
all right let’s do this let’s do it no I think that’s why when you see it versus
when you read it it helps a lot especially with people who don’t read
into what was happening at the time when it gives it that life and that
expression and where it’s not just words it’s enunciation and the lows and the
highs and textures that’s another thing too it’s tangible
hmm good word also there’s a lot of I used to be very much a purist I thought
that the best kind of Shakespeare was period piece say Shakespeare and I still
do I still love me some period piece Shakespeare but modernizing it setting
it in anything after the Elizabethan era makes it more real makes it more
tangible more reachable for the average audience motor the best rendition that
was true to the script of Romeo and Juliet is the Leonardo DiCaprio and
Claire Danes version yep where’s John Leguizamo Baz Luhrmann and the dad from
lost I stopped watching in season 4 when they killed Charlie oh okay I don’t
remember the show lost very well oh well let’s again Mary from Lord of the Rings
those bastards those sons of bitches right how dare you how dare you how dare
you who gave you the right as producers and directors and the funding for that
show gave you the right Dominic Monaghan like who fuck you you sons of bitches
you sons of bitches yeah they kill him by drowning like somebody’s I mean
that’s the least painful death no I disagree oh but you drowned if you just
accept it the only things that causes pain with drowning is when you’re trying
to not breathe in the water once you breathe in the water you’re fine yes but
okay well this happened most people have a self-preservation instinct where they
go maybe I shouldn’t be a fish well I mean depending on the scenario so the
scenario and her to drown or not to drown because once you inhale that water
it’s gonna be the same as if you were you know running out of oxygen
so you just have to make sure you can make it to air and time to puke up all
that your lungs and anyway continue you have
some life stories I would love to hear one of these days do I have I left you
have apparently over a hundred years I was born January 24th of 1900 fuckin
aquarius’s yeah hold on I’m gonna remember this airside yes yeah yeah
mercury is my friend one of the sites have a little embroidery thing those
mercury isn’t greater eight or some shit and I’m stealing but oh no reason I
actually knew it was retrograde is because there’s a song that says my
heart’s in retrograde and ya know it’s a make sense because of how stars work its
retrograde the science versus retrograde ly Australian yeah ding ding I think the
only reason my interest in astrology is tolerable is because I’m like it’s a
thing that I know stuff about yeah it’s too late like Shakespeare but I’m not
worth more stock is put into Shakespeare than astrology and mercury beaming
Gatorades I hope I feel like my response to
astrology is that Lisa Simpson meme with the potato or is just like not Lisa
Marge I just think it’s neat it’s good I’m not like oh let me get your natal
chart so I can tell you what kind of career you should have or your previous
life I mean if you’re only $24.99 I was gonna say if you’re gonna pay me some
money I will six payments thanks oh no I’m sorry less interest shipping
and handling another 12 payments No so you don’t put a lot of stock into it and
I appreciate that I’m not like hey Nick do you know what today is today with
your chart says that shut up Lily no that’s one of the things
where the squirt bottle would happen such no yeah although I love how
whenever you talk about someone I disapprove of them like mmm do you know
when their birthday is or you in Seth MacFarlane he’s a fucking Scorpio on a
goddamn knew it of all the Christmas songs you choose to sing
baby it’s cold outside is the one like and that’s not that songs not as like
creepy is everyone made it out to be for a while yeah remember the times in the
place and which is important with Shakespeare time the place place of the
time which also makes me happy because it was like such a catchy song and I
like that people are like hey hey hey hey hey no she’s doing this on purpose
she wants to stay but she needs an alibi he’s like oh let’s make up an alibi
together so we can stop and nobody look at us funny because it’s the 1950s and
people still care if grown adults have sex well babies were just found in
cabbage patches no no no no air delivery Oh
storks air delivery yes only because that’s not creepy just a baby falling
from the sky yeah is that why her cousin’s kind of stupid dropped him off
on that nice piece of cement we just put out no one updated them it’s fine
whatever your faith story historic problem needs you to update your memory
address yeah shipping date there’s your shipping address the same as your
billing address that’d be awkward Oh haven’t thought about that in regards to
babies yeah baby delivery this is yours no it’s not we just moved here Frank
what did you do who did you do all right well it’s getting about closing time so
uh you got about ten minutes to get out just you Kevin
just just Kevin what Daisy get him out of the trash can
see I told you trash Panda yeah be a trash Panda he doesn’t have clean hands now that we’ve spread the pathogens it’s
biological warfare we’re quarantined every man for themselves but none for knuckle cups hello you
brave souls who made it to the end of this if you like what you’ve heard and
you’d like to learn more you can find our social media links in the show
description and despite what kevin says the hounds are not for sale so stop
asking

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