Ellen Deciphers Her Audience’s Seating Choices

Ellen Deciphers Her Audience’s Seating Choices


Oh boy. I guarantee you
we’re going to be done in an hour or
your next show is free. [LAUGHTER] Don’t worry about it. Here’s what I want
to talk about today. Airplanes. Some psychologists
have done a study about people on airplanes. They’ve discovered
something very interesting. They still don’t know why your
dad has to get to the airport six hours early. They don’t know– they’re
going to work on that. But they did find
out in this study that it turns out that the
seat that you choose on a plane says a lot about
your personality. So like for instance,
how many people here prefer a window seat? [CHEERING] OK. They said that if you choose
a window seat that means that you’re more selfish and– [LAUGHTER] that you like to be in control,
and you’re more irritable. [LAUGHTER] I can see how irritable you
are just by hearing that. Just a– [LAUGHTER] Who prefer aisle seats? All right. If you choose an aisle
seat, it means you’re more reserved and cooperative. Look at that. And if you choose
an aisle seat, you could get dragged off because
the flight is overbooked and it means– [LAUGHTER] You’re probably on United. Who prefers middle seats? [LAUGHTER] One person. All right. If you choose the middle seat. You’re what psychologists
call a cuckoo bird. [LAUGHTER] Why do you like middle seat? Were you just Kidding? I feel safer in the middle. I see. So you’re– yeah. [LAUGHTER] It’s not a joke, it’s serious. Do you know those two
women next to you? [LAUGHTER] Just one of them. I thought it was an
interesting study so I got a psychologist here
and they came earlier today, and they’re studying my
audience and the seats that you sit in say a
lot about who you are. I have the results right here. They’re real because
they’re on the clipboard. [LAUGHTER] Seat D-110– Right here. There you are, D-110. Yes. All right. If you’re sitting
in this seat, you’re the type of person who lies
about her age on her Tinder profile. [LAUGHTER] No. It says it– don’t
argue with me, ma’am. It says it right here. [LAUGHTER] F-108. Where’s F-108? There you are. You’re F-108? OK. If you’re sitting
in this seat, you’re someone who always wanted
to be on the Kiss Cam but never had a chance. All right, you have a chance. Kiss Cam! [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] That’s all? Oh, sorry. Aw, that’s sweet. Isn’t it? [LAUGHTER] All right. And E-1? You’re E-1. If you’re sitting
in this seat, you’re the type of person
who put his man bun in a double knot three years
ago, still can’t get it untied. [LAUGHTER] 100% accurate. Yes, I know. It’s right here
on the clipboard. Tell the lady that’s
arguing with me. It’s uncanny. Yes. All right. G-3. Where is G-3? If you are sitting
in this seat, you’re the type of person
who wants to be seen dancing on national television. And look. You got your wish. Watch this. [MUSIC PLAYING] [CHEERING] Excellent! [APPLAUSE] I love you, Ellen!

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