EVERY MUSICAL THEATRE AUDITION

EVERY MUSICAL THEATRE AUDITION


– Cool, cool, cool, cool. Sitting in a room full
of my hot doppelgangers. Small talk in the foyer,
small talk in the foyer, let’s talk about everyone in
the industry in the foyer. Small talk in the foyer can f*ck off. I’m just gonna stretch my
leg all the way up here. Is everyone watching? Hi. Ready for a pirouette? Hi everyone, can everyone
hear me in the waiting room!? I’m that person who got into the last show with this production
company so I know everyone! Hey Steph, hey Jeff. Remember all those personal
in jokes we used to have? Oh what am I singing? Uh, it’s the same song
I sing at every audition because I just haven’t got around to finding a new repertoire
since I started musical theatre. Hi, hotter, more talented
person that gets all the roles that I’m always up for. Why am I already sweaty I
haven’t even done anything. Hey guys, my name is Jack Kelly. Um, I’ll be doing a monologue
that I found online for free. Why did I pick a monologue for
a 42 year old female eagle? And um, I’ll be doing a song
that is way too high for me because the role called for a tenor. Hi everyone on the audition
panel, my name is Excuse Emma. I’ve been a bit sick lately
so if I don’t get the notes, that’s what’s happening but
I can get it on the show day. Okay, quirky and cute. Okay everyone we’re gonna do
a little bit of light acting or a little bit of heavy acting
depending on the motivation. Dance call next. I’ve got diarrhea. Okay change lines everyone. F*ck, f*ck, f*ck. All right, number 42, 53 and 58 stay. What’s my number, do you
know what my number is? Sorry, excuse me. – What?
– Um, I just don’t know my number. Jack Kelly darl? Yeah,
no you’re number three. I’ll just go f*ck myself, okay bye. Shoulda done dance lessons as a kid bucko. Yes. My availability? It’s very good. um I will cut out friends
and family from my life, I’ll kill my dog, I will move to Sweden and learn puppeteering because I have chosen to
do a musical theatre degree and spent all my money on that so now I need to show my parents that I’ve taken the right path in life so any role would be great
and I’m very available yes. Would you like to see the
pirouette again? No, okay. That’s all right as well. Please. Oh I didn’t get it? That’s okay, that’s fine. Who did get it? It’s the f*ckin hot doppelganger isn’t it? That’s okay, yes I’ll
be Stage Manager, yep.

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