Gay film: East Side Skin – queer theatre from Amsterdam (2003) aputheatre
Any contact with loved ones is strictly forbidden
for the next 3 days. I’m the monster of your dreams. I’m the man you came to Berlin for. You’re my prisoner now! Fascinating and terrible. I don’t want to continue this conversation.
I want to go. Oh no, not yet you don’t. I want to go. Well you can’t You’re fascinated. Admit it. I’m the man you came to Berlin for.
I’m the monster of your dreams. Fascinating and terrible. And boy what I could do to you now with my hands! You like my hands. You like my fingers. You spent enough time sucking on them last night.
Asking me to do those special things you like. Stop it Horst! Come on David, you’re my prisoner now. Don’t be so ridiculous. I’m not being ridiculous. You want to go and I don’t want you to go. So I’m temporarily kidnapping you. Any contact with loved ones is strictly
forbidden for the next 3 days. 3 days exactly. We Germans are exact people. You are to be my experiment
whether you like it or not. I’m not going to make you disappear you idiot. This is just an experiment. An experiment in what’? In seeing how far we can go. I’ve had fantasies about doing this for a long time. And when I saw you I thought: He’s the one! I sensed you were different,
maybe a little perverse, like me. And interested like me in things
that stupid people don’t approve of. Now relax! Do you like Mozart? I’ve just been attacked by a fucking neo-Nazi
and he asks me if I like Mozart! Listen. How beautiful that is. What’s the correct word for this in English? Soothing? Is that the word? I don’t speak correct English remember?
I’m Dutch. Ah, yes. You’ve had quite a time in your country recently,
haven’t you? Political assassinations. A shift to the right. I never thought the Dutch could be like that. It was just one assassination! Oh yeah, but what a one! Here we are in Berlin. So soaked in the blood of killings,
another one would just add to the list. All of Berlin’s stones have had their killings. This is scaring me. The Mozart is scaring me.
The talk of blood is scaring me. Maybe you intend to kill me, and if that is what
you are trying to convey you are succeeding. I thought I had reassured you that
nothing bad is going to happen to you. I was only talking about your country’s politics. No! You are talking deliberately
about killings to scare me! If this is part of the experiment I want you to stop. I was only commenting on assassinations. This is all one big game for you isn’t it’?
To make me afraid. I am neither educated nor interested
in the heroes of Nazi history! Did you know that Horst Wessel
lived with a prostitute? I said I’m not interested. Well you should be!
Horst Wessel was a very interesting man. Just like myself! You are not a prostitute are you? So many gay and not so gay boys are nowadays. It would even be extra exciting if you were. Make me closer to Horst Wessel. No I am not a prostitute.
Sorry to disappoint you. Well, the fantasy will have to do without it then. Hey, can the fantasy do without me? We have made a bargain. No. You have made a bargain. We’ve made a bargain to keep you here
for 3 days. Then I’ll let you go. I have a train to catch the day after
tomorrow. I mustn’t miss it. There are other trains, David. So, you really have got me, haven’t you? Have we got enough food for 3 days? How practical! How Dutch! Of course I’ve got enough food for 3 days. Anyway I’d only have to call my mum
and she’d put some outside the door. But don’t get any ideas about calling for help. She’d only laugh. She knows I can equally make a boy
scream with pleasure or cry out for help. That’s why she was so glad I left home. She could no longer tolerate the noise. Well, it’s nice to know that your mother
was tolerant for so long. But you are keeping me here against my will,
and when I get free I’ll… When you get free what’? Go to the Police? No. Liar. Your fear shows. But I’m not afraid. I could easily make the Police believe
nothing happened here at all. As a precaution though I’d better
turn off the phone. Thought of everything, haven’t you? No.
I didn’t think I would catch someone like you. Soon you will be telling me it’s love. I don’t love. I desire. I desire people who have possibilities. Just turn off the fucking Mozart.
It’s not appropriate. It’s great! No, for you the neo-Nazi shit is great.
Why don’t you replace the Mozart with that’? Come on, kill me now.
You might as well get it over with. Don’t be so melodramatic.
Killing you would spoil all the fun. You’ve been silent for 12 hours. Say something. Do something else. For all your strength,
you are a weak and cowardly Dutch Jew. You could hit the shit out of me, but no,
the Dutch cow sits on the grass waiting. Waiting for what’? I’m not going to set you free,
so don’t think I am. The more you are passive the more I want
to kick some kind of relationship out of you. You’re my audience, David. You’re here in Germany
and what do you know about it’? You are in the heart of the former DDR
and what do you know about my city? Fuck off! In Holland did you hear that the wall came down
and that we had re-unification? Fuck off! That once again we are a united country? But we will never grow with the fucking
EU draining us of money. Or with the west not giving a shit about us. Like you, David. You don’t give a shit about us. You’re happy to see our monuments restored.
But do you believe that will feed the people? I don’t care. Well the people have to be fed.
And they have to have full employment. They should be equal. And there is no equality
in this new united Germany. Wake up!
– I don’t care! What the Germans need is a new leader again.
To inspire them again. Yeah. You! I desire you.
But at this moment I’d like to fuck you to death. And yes, me as a leader. A leader who will give them that one thing
they need more than anything else. There is no morale in this country anymore. But here in Friedrichshein
I have my small cell of men. And together with my men
we will begin to inspire the German people. I can’t feed them I know that. But I can hope, and that is something. You walking, fucking cow-burger! What does a queer boy like you care
about restoring Germany to its former glory? A boy like you looks at the clubs and glitter
and you think the glory is achieved. You look at the clubs and saunas
and the bright new lights of Unter den Linden. Isn’t that what you want of this city? The show it it. The cabaret, once again. The new fucking Weimar, once again! You shit. Is this how you usually attack? I usually do it harder. Only a coward kicks like that you fascist cunt. CW baby! Who else do you kick? Do you kick with your mates?
With your neo-Nazi friends? We don’t play around, David. We organise. Bastard. I’m sure you’ve had rough sex,
when the boot kicks in. I too can kick during sex. Is that what I have to look forward to
when I go to bed? You like it. You like the sex and the abuse. No, mein fuhrer, I choose to wait. Eventually when you’ve run out of sexual ideas, you
will fuck me with the keys, and then I’ll make my move. Sarcastic for a Dutchman. Well, we have humour even in situations like this. It wasn’t very funny. Do you kick for politics as well as for pleasure? I told you. I organise. Do others kick for you?
Is that what you organise? Killings, kickings, beatings up, desecration of cemeteries
and Soviet war memorials is no longer a priority. There’s nostalgia in it of course,
for the real skinhead. We’ll come back to the skinheads later. How much later? Interested? Talking of skinheads is turning you on isn’t it’? Twelve hours is a long time without sex. Skinhead. Skinhead. Skinhead. Yes. Tell me more about Germany. I see I’m reaching you. Treating you badly is giving us both a hard-on. Tell me what you do politically. Nowadays we fascists hide more. The big displays are no longer
politically good for us. So what is? Waiting. Waiting for the right time to commit
useful acts of violence. But you won’t be anymore what you are. You will
rejoin the majority and draw back from your liberty. Please stop this. But mein little liebling, it will take some time yet for all that to happen. Meanwhile, there is still some fun to be had. It might not even happen. Then we all could live happily ever after. You must admit it would be the first time in history. Now go into the bedroom, bring out the clothes
and let me watch you transform yourself. So you want a striptease.
– Yes. Is that necessary?
– For me yes. A fucking degrading striptease. I’m not an exhibitionist. Be proud that you have got something to exhibit! In the park we had an audience.
At least 3 watching. You want the full humiliating works, don’t you? I see nothing wrong in arousing myself,
but getting you to strip. And ‘rt will arouse me. Because on you I know the clothes will be real. Haven’t you understood anything? I seriously want you to do this,
so that you can discover your true self. Now go and become what you fucking are! OK, relax. I am not your mirror. The mirror is over there. Look at yourself. Oi! Oi! Oi! Oi! The skinhead from those glossy porn videos is gone. The skinhead from the clubs is gone. The real skinhead has taken his place. The skinhead who wears his clothes
as a statement of hate. And yes you do hate.
You hate the bastards who are ruining this country. For Germany is your country now. You even have a time old lingering
hatred for the Jews. But you remember you are a 21st Century
skinhead, living here in this part of Berlin. And that the Jews are a tired and
should be forgotten old story. The new story is about the refugees. You burnt them in Rostock. Even murdering a 10 year old child. And you thought to yourself: One less. Good. Then you get into a fight with your mother. Who wants you to be a decent little German boy
marrying some decent little German girl. But you hate that too! You’re not homosexual. You despise homosexuals. But you still want to fuck a man and get fucked! So you beat up a few queers and you force
an old man in the park to suck your dick. And afterwards you kick him in his false teeth! And then you see me. I am an important man. And you desire me. I don’t wear a bomber jacket,
or any of those uniforms. I am the real thing. In a brown shirt, black tie and simple jacket. I remember Rostock too,
and the attacks on the refugees there. I was proud even then to know that we could
still beat the unwanted out of our country. Hitler got rid of the Jews. So why wouldn’t we in Rostock
get rid of some of the refugees? So come on, adoring skinhead. Adore yourself. Your clothes are not fashion. They are your new skin. Touch the skin. Feel its texture. And then when you are satisfied,
let me share it with you. Now turn around and let’s fuck. He had a big house near the
village where I grew up. He was in his fifties. And had a passion for repairing
old fairground organs. You know those ridiculous Dutch machines
that play music in the streets. That we like to murder our tourists with. You said you wanted to murder him? Why? Not to begin with. He used to teach me how to mend
the machines when they were broken. He made me feel useful and loved. My father never made me feel that. I was at ease with this man. Then one day he asked me about girls. I’d had no contact with girls. He showed me pictures of young girls
of my own age. They were naked And he wanted me naked. I was curious – curious like I am with you. So I said yes. Yes you can photograph me. I stripped naked for him and he made me show
myself to the camera in various positions. Then he wanted close-ups of my cock. Of my anus. Then he spread my anus. And made me spread my anus
in the way that he had shown me. He said he wanted to photograph the inside
of me because he cared so much about me. ‘It will always be there’, he said,
‘this photograph of inside your body. And you will be able to look at it
when you are grown up and changed.’ So he photographed me. And as I bent over
I felt the cold lens of the camera penetrate me. He wanted to do the impossible. How could he possibly photograph
what was inside of me? But you did let him try the impossible,
didn’t you? Don’t you understand David that he was
attempting an act of love then? No. It seems to me he was also a man
who could only make attempts at love. No! Gently. Gently. No. I wanted to kill him after that. I was strong at eleven,
and maybe I could have done it. Cut out his fucking heart. His heart that didn’t feel. So what did you do? I did the most perverse thing. I went back. I let him photograph me again
and again.and again. Until he got tired of me. I want you to do something frightening to me.
Like the man in the house did. Shall I order you now?
– No. First I want to know more about us. What do you mean? With extreme prejudice, I want us to declare
some of the things that we believe in. Some of the things that have brought us here
together at this moment in time. I want us to declare our prejudices. OK. You first? No, you. OK, with extreme prejudice,
I dislike homosexuals. Their need to accumulate wealth and power to compensate for a deficiency they feel exists
in their sexual nature. Their need for money
so as to avoid confronting society. Their need to be at one with their oppressors
so as to neatly disappear. Maybe if homosexuals were more natural,
more straight-acting I would like them more. But I don’t think it is in my nature to do so,
as it wasn’t for Hitler. Is that the secret of being a gay fascist’?
Hide it? Hitler was right to hide it. He was right to be afraid that his own
homosexuality would be betrayed by Roehm. The Night of the Long Knives had to happen. An ‘out’ extreme right-winger is always killed.
Look at your own country for that. The elite lead private lives, not public ones. That was the case with Roehm. He became too public. I respect Hitler’s decision. So David, your prejudices. With extreme prejudice I dislike Jews. I hate my fellow Jews because they use
their stronger force to attack the Palestinians. In the concentration camps, homosexuals
were treated with contempt by the Jews. They’re a people who use their own oppression
as an excuse to oppress others. I also hate my circumcised dick. Do you like the end of my dick, Horst’?
Tell me the truth. I like your dick very much. I would like to smell the end of your dick. I would like to keep you here unwashed for a week. What do you feel? I’m not sure. Is the feeling exciting you? I’m getting a hard-on.
– Good. Get an erection if you want to. Many of those who were taken in
and interrogated got erections. And they were afraid.
– I want to open my eyes No. Keep them closed.
The sensation is only just beginning. I really want you to use your imagination
and play the game. I’m ready. This is abuse, David. Real abuse. I have got into the game
and I want you to get into it with me. You’re a child again and willing. Don’t joke around! This is what you came to Berlin for. It hurts. I’m sore.
– Shut up. This is humiliating for you. You’ve had your chance for an erection. Now I just want to squeeze your balls
until you feel more pain. I expected something else. Well, this must be better!
Because an unexpected violation always is. For God’s sake finish what you are doing. I have to take my time to get the
full effect onto the cloth. What are you doing? I’m taking a specimen of your smell! No, not up my ass! I’m taking your smell from you. I don’t understand. It’s good.
You secreted a lot. The smell of urine, some sperm, some shit. And above all sweat. All that is needed. A single, brutal act. A torture to hurt the mind. And in the days of communism
it did hurt the mind. The smell on the cloth was kept so that
at any time a trained dog could smell it And then smell its victim out on the street,
if that person went against the system. How do you think it felt’? All those people looking at you
as a dog jumps up at your groin. Pointing out publicly and in the most shameful
way that you are an enemy of the state? It made me afraid, but I also found it exciting. This was just the beginning, wasn’t it’? Or an ending, if you want to go. No, I don’t want to go.
I want to see more. Will you show me more? No. Haven’t you got a train to catch? There are other trains, Horst. Show me more. We can go out tonight. I’ll unlock the door and
I’ll show you a very special place in Berlin. I’ve already been to Potsdamer Platz,
so what are we doing here? I want us to dig some earth. What do I do?
– You could help. How can I help you when you’ve
got the only shovel? You could move some of the earth
with your hands. Thank you. Not! Look, I can’t exactly get another shovel
so just use your hands and dig. I’ve read the history books. This is how the
Nazi’s used to get them to do it, wasn’t it’? Before they popped them down with a gun? It was a very Jewish thing to do at the time.
– Just do it. I prefer at home. I can deal with you there. I want you to move some of this earth with me.
It’s the most beautiful earth in the world. Then how come I still feel like
a captured Jew digging his own grave? Oh, I’ve got it. This was a great idea. This is the feeling you wanted me to have. You wanted me to feel that I was
digging my grave. Just dig! Will I find something? OK, if you’re going to mess around,
let’s have sex until you get serious. How can I take this seriously? First I think I’m going to get executed.
Then I’m offered sex. You are standing on the most important
place in my life with me. I am serious. This is no joke, is it’?
– No it’s not. I want us to dig a large enough hole
so that we can fuck in it. So now you know. So it’s just sex.
– No it’s not. I wanted to build up to this moment.
To prepare you for something tremendous. OK, then what is it’?
– You could say it’s a ghost. Stop laughing. The Police could hear us and come. How can I not laugh? Out of respect you could keep quiet.
– Out of respect for who? Who is the little shit’? Hitler. So this is –
– The bunker. The site of the bunker. There’s a secret entrance to what remains.
and I am going to find it. I feel totally confused now.
I didn’t even know where Hitler’s bunker was. Well it’s here. But then how could I know
as there are no signs to tell me? And he died here? Your fuehrer died here? Nothing left of him, but his teeth! This is a real fantastic place you have
brought me to, Horst. This is a real high! Fucking amazing! Look at that rubbish in front of us! Behind this place was the former
Air Ministry and the Gestapo headquarters. Hitler’s chancellery was here, and here I am! It’s all so full of meaning for me and yet
I am the fuhrer of nothing. Absolutely nothing. In this bloody awful Berlin of nothing. Looking at the future of these new buildings
that will not last a thousand years. Hitler didn’t build casinos! He did not name streets after that stupid bitch
Marlene Dietrich. He built to last.
Hitler was not shopping! And he died with his buildings which is more than will
be said for the architects who constructed that shit. One day I will have the guts with some of
my men to blow a little bit of all that apart. It will lake time, but it will happen. Look at that rubbish in front of us! Behind this place down the road was the former
Air Ministry and the Gestapo headquarters. Hitler’s chancellery was here, and here I am! The fuehrer of nothing.
Of absolutely nothing. Looking at the future of these new buildings
that will not last a thousand years. Hitler didn’t build casinos! He did not name streets after
Marlene Dietrich. He built to last.
They are building for kitsch. Hitler was not shopping! And he died with his buildings which is more than will
be said for the architects who constructed that shit. One day I will have the guts with some of my men
to blow a little bit of all that apart. It will lake time, but it will happen. God, you sound so sexy when you speak German! Nazi fucker. Jew exterminator. Bastard. Hate, hate, hate. But I share it with you. So what should we do now Horst’? Go out into the streets and find some more
queers or refugees or Jews. And take it in turns to torment them? What I am trying to say is, yes, you bastard,
I am a fascist like you. The only thing that separates us is that
I haven’t put it into practice yet. And yes the future is ours. And we had better get started,
because it won’t last a thousand years! My cock is ready for you now. Suck my Jewish cock. Hate, hate, hate! I share ‘rt with you. The future is ours Horst. We had better get started. Because it won’t last a thousand years.