I HATE MOVIE THEATRES

I HATE MOVIE THEATRES


(Siren) (footage from Druids plays with audio from the movie) (baby cries as movie audio continues) Why is a baby in here? (a menagerie of animals begin calling out) I’m a huge fan of movies, but shoving a large group of smelly, loud, obnoxious people into a warm room is not exactly my idea of how you should enjoy them. Every time, every single time there has to be something or someone that ruins it. Just the whole experience is terrible and outdated. It sucks it’s the only way to see a new movie. From the getgo, it’s a joke. You walk in and you see one of two types of people: There are those who you can tell are really excited for whatever they’re about to see or have just seen, or disappointed, either because the movie was terrible or because their experience was frustrating beyond belief. Something is always broken.. You can’t just pick up your tickets you ordered online, that’d be too simple and easy. Instead you have to wait in line with all the other munters, making the whole “ordering tickets online” thing completely redundant. And then you get to the atrocious food they serve. Not only is it about four times more expensive than the Tesco from across the street, but why does it have to be popcorn? Popcorn’s an inherently loud food substance to ram down your food-hole. It’s a subtle noise despite the outspoken name, but Jesus, it’s terrible! (laughing as popcorn pops) Oh no! I don’t know about you, but I’m extremely noise-conscious when I’m sitting in a theatre. I won’t make any noise unless it’s completely necessary. Sometimes, I’ll even start to make a noise, like to go into my bag to get a drink or something, but I’ll stop halfway and retreat because I don’t want to be that ass-hole that ruins the experience for someone else. I don’t know why I bother, when you have that bloke on one side farting away and talking to himself, the teenagers sat in your peripheral vision who are playing on their phones, or that one bastard who’s desperately trying to open a packet of something and making the loudest possible noise doing so. (crinkling noise of a bag being opened loudly) They probably aren’t even causing that much noise. There’s something about a theatre [that] selectively amplifies certain senses. Just anything, anything to distract you from the whole point of why you’re there: to see a fucking movie. I like to turn up early to choose a nice seat or to get comfortable or whatever, and it’s all going good. The movie’s about to start, it’s perfect – a rare thing in a movie theatre – until you spot that one freakishly large ogre who decides to clamber in, stand in the middle of an aisle and search for a space like an owl. Then, you see them stop and focus on a seating area right in front of where you’re sat, and you think “Well, they’ll probably sit a space or two apart from directly in front of me. Besides, I purposefully sat in a place with loads of extra seats just to minimise the chance of- -oh, they sat in front of me.” That’s it. Even if it’s just the tip of their sweaty head that protrudes your vision, it’s game over right there. And what’s with that unspoken rule where you have to leave a space in between groups of people, like in a urinal? You never wanna be that guy in the middle. (Buzzer) Or sometimes you have no choice, and you have to awkwardly sit next to some dumb kid who probably shouldn’t even be in there. Why do people bring babies in? Why do people bring babies into horrible, violent movies? How is that allowed? If I had a baby, the whole “going to the movies” thing would be pretty much off the table for a few years I would’ve thought. Are you really that desperate that you’re gonna bring a baby in? Can you not just get a babysitter for a few hours or just wait for it to come out on Blu-Ray? It’s really not hard. We all have stories about our worst experience in a theatre, and this is probably mine. It was opening night for The Dark Knight Rises. I’d booked months in advance, got a relatively late evening screening ‘cuz I thought it’d be a tad less busy and have fewer dumb moron kids running around. Everyone was excited and the movie began. The screen was black and the chilling music started to play. Then ten seconds passed and the screen was still black. Then a minute passed and the screen was still black. Then characters in the movie started talking, and the screen was still black. Obviously, something was wrong. I looked back at the projector and noticed that it was aimed in the completely wrong place. It was pointed into the corner of the room with a mess of indistinguishable colours and lights. This went on for about twenty minutes. Everyone just sat there and did nothing, talking amongst ourselves about how outrageous this situation was, but not doing anything. They did eventually notice and pointed the projector to the right place, and then they stopped it and spent another ten minutes resetting the movie. That really happened. There was this one theatre I used to go to where your feet would stick to the floor like glue with each step because the entire carpet was so engrossed with horrible, disgusting sugar stains of god-knows-what. I guess what it comes down to is that people are selfish ass-holes who don’t care about other people’s movie-going experiences. It’s too expensive and sharing a room with people is terrible. Just relying on people to be quiet is terrible. Just everything about it is terrible. Whenever you go to a theatre, just make sure you think about the other people in the room when you’re on your phone or talking to your friend. All you have to do is shut your mouth and don’t move: the easiest thing any human can do. You literally have to do nothing, so fucking do it. So those are my thoughts on movie theatres! Uh, what do you think about movie theatres? Do you have a story? Do you have any bad stories or is the cinemas and things ’round you all good ‘n stuff? Cuz they’re alright but not, certainly not good around me. So, what did you think? Did you agree? Disagree? Tell me in the comments below, and as always, thanks for watching, all comments and ratings are appreciated. I’ll see you next time. Bye

100 thoughts on “I HATE MOVIE THEATRES

  1. When me and my friend went to go see IT in the theater, half way through the movie i had this black family sit right next to me… with their fucking 5 year old daughter sitting on the dads lap and would not shut the fuck up. Great parenting

  2. Like a few days ago I went to go see La Llorona, we were in the third row but in the 1st row was a bunch of high pitched voice 11-14 year old kids who all happened to be friends, but still yelling shit at the screen like,
    “LEAVE HER ALONE”.
    But the scene where the ghost, La Llorona sees her locket and her real face shows to look at it the same kid says
    “I’d smash”
    Then some other dipshit says
    “oooo she thicc”
    And in the whole fucking row there was no adults meaning no parents so the whole movie we all had to hear dipshit kids being complete twats and we all know we can’t say shit to them because some people give kids a free pass to do whatever they want just because “they’re cute and innocent”. If you don’t teach them what not to do then no one will.

    It was kind of a cheesy movie loved the jump scares but out of all of that, those fucking little shits should’ve had their parents around to pimp slap them into 2.

  3. Everytime, The sound of eating is so loud! And it's worse when it's a very quiet part and that fat guy is eating louder than a cow.

  4. I remember my mom wanted to see The Grinch and the only thing I remember is kids ruining it by chewing so the whole galaxy can hear them then laugh because someone in the theater exists and they will scream run pick up stuff and throw it.

  5. Not really a bad experience, probably my best. One time, I was basically forced to see the Peppa Pig movie with my niece, her dad (my brother) and her mum. When we arrived in the room, nobody was inside. The movie started, still nobody was inside. The screen was pretty low down and there was a big space in between the first row of seats and the screen. This meant we could run around the front without getting yelled at by annoyed parents. Even when the movie ended, we were the only people there. If only that could happen more often.

  6. When I went to see us there was at least 3 groups of teenagers including me and my friends, all the group's including my friends (except me) talked the whole time. I havent went with my friends since.

  7. Watching this again because I just came back from watching Endgame and had to deal with some of the same problems.

  8. When I was watching Jungle Book (2016), There was this kid next to me talking to the movie. He said stuff like, “Get em’ Mogli. Yeah!”

  9. When I saw Kong Skull island a guy had his cellphone out during Kong’s fight with the big Skull crawler.

  10. I went to a movie theatre to watch Deadpool 2. There were 8-year-olds (probably) in the same theatre. Watching DEADPOOL 2.

  11. I prefer to see movies at home BECAUSE I can make noise and get all the snacks I want, as well as stop and start the movie as I please

  12. I went to see 5 feet apart (spoiler, they weren't gay) with my friend for my birthday. There was a mom and 2 girls watching the movie in front of us. The mom and one of the girls started crying, and the sister said "you guys are such babies!" And went off on them. It was strange lol

  13. Nobody:
    Parents at movie theaters: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Also if you want to know my experience l, it was while watching Endgame. There was one lady who would keep clapping at the end part and everyone laughed at the unfunny parts and I had a sensory overload and kind of panicked. Please shut up during a movie in the theater people.

  14. We went to Endgame at our local theather (which is actually pretty great and super cheap), and there wasn't many people because we saw the movie a bit after it was released, but some woman had brought her baby in, and the baby came incredibly close to crying. Luckily, the woman took her baby out of the theater a few times, but my friend and I were just thinking "Who brings a baby to Endgame???"

  15. This is late but one time I was watching end game (this was one day after the movie came out) and when Hawkeye and Black Widow were fighting about who would sacrifice themselves a baby started crying, then the parent didn’t even take their damn baby out of the theater!! Then like a minute later someone says “Get your damn baby out of the theater.” Then the person STILL didn’t take their baby out of the theater, eventually they took the baby out to the hallway and started spanking it! One of my other horrid movie theater experiences was I was watching Detective Pikachu, and it was near the end of the movie, but not to the point of the resolutions, then the light bulb thing went out with a literal bang, and I thought something bad was happening, then after ten minutes of just sitting there an employee told us the bulb went out. Then I had to stand in a twenty minute line for free tickets to a different movie.

  16. Well in the summer a theater nearby shows semi old kids movies for cheap so I go once a week and usually have little problems

  17. Thank the sweet cheese nuggets I'm not alone. But I hate movie theaters… because I'm usually the one making noise and disrupting things. Also, I'd rather just grab a blanket and a drink and chat about the movie with my friend in the comfort of my home.

  18. 3:45 wait… were we in the same screening because I had that exact same experience, same film too

  19. Top tip for movie snacking: Ask the theater staff at the snack booth for 2-3 empty popcorn buckets. Then, during the pre-film ads, empty all your food into each bucket so there are no wrappers

  20. This isn’t really about movie theatres but

    My teacher didn’t like endgame. He said it “wAS tOo lOnG”

  21. Listen to my advice move to new Zealand it's Americans who fucking suck new Zealand is so much better and its cinemas are silent as fuck unless your watching endgame

  22. i was watching Lights Out and an actual fist fight between to girls started to happen in front of me

  23. I’m usually pretty quiet I’m general. So I have no problem keeping f**king silent when the movie is playing. As for everyone else around me, I’m only noticing the noises before and after the movie is played. Also my cousins are he ones hat take me when they go and they are worse. Can’t say anything about them though since they’re family.

  24. I use to hate movie theaters until I found the Alamo. My only gripes is that it often gets packed (but everyone is quiet) and that if they mess up an order during the movie, it does take away from the immersion.

  25. just wait until you go to my school
    and i am also noise conscious
    and i wouldn’t be that stupid and annoying kid at the theater

  26. I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU BRING YOUR GODDAMN CRYING BABY TO ENDGAME I WILL CHUCK THE CHILD OUT THE WALL IF YOU DONT GET OUT OF THE THEATER!

  27. I intentionally get back row seats so me and my girlfriend have private time, you know if the movie is good, we can enjoy the movie in peace or if the movie is boring we make out.
    What I hate is people sit right beside us or right in front of us, so now we feel like we can't kiss or enjoy the movie in peace.

  28. This video was made for me, i used to talk a f*@(# ton when i was watching i knew a sh*t ton of information to, when my Aunt who used to take me and my brother there to watch didn't answer, i just made myself louder

  29. The worst cinema experience I've ever had was in an IMAX theater. Back in Dec. 2016, we go and went to see Rogue One: A Star Wars Story on my local IMAX in 2D. So we got there and purchased two tickets (I'm with my mom) that says 3D on it, and some IMAX employee made an announcement that there will be a "reformat" to 2D. I was really confused because the website said 2D, and the ticket said 3D. We went inside the theater, the IMAX intro played in 3D!!! Including the movie, I can't watch the entire movie in 3D without glasses. I went outside and told an employee (one of my embarrassing moments of my life) and I said to him that the movie was playing in 3D and maybe they are handing out glasses. I went inside the theater again, and saw the movie was finally in 2D. I definitely knew an IMAX theater has a projectionist behind it (since IMAX theatres have projectionists watching unlike regular cinemas). Now thank god that only the few seconds were in 3D, then a minute it became 2D. My knowledge that the employee told the projectionist that the movie is in 3D. If they can play 3D, why not make it 3D. The movie played in 2D by turning of the right projector (IMAX Digital). That is one of the worst moments of my life. And BTW, we are allowed to bring any food inside the theater. I live in a country that allows food inside (food not from the cinema).

  30. Ugh I remember when I went to see Godzilla in 2014. Me and my mom took seats in the middle of the theater which was pretty empty. Then when the movie started HALF WAY threw it some teenagers came in and talked forever one was even on their phone and had the brightness turned up so much that it took all my attention away from what I was watching. There was also a man in there with his two young kids, however his kids were actually very respectful and sat threw the movie just fine the man even eventually got up and complained about the teens and a employee came in and told them to be quiet and they luckily were after that. I found it funny that two three year olds could sit threw the entire movie without talking but the teenagers couldn't.

  31. omg I feel this hatred so much 😭 how can people not sit still for 2 hours??? I'm sat there like a rock, only moving to eat or shuffle my leg ever half hour but theres people who just can't fucking stop shuffling. The last time I went someone was just coughing and hacking up god knows what, fucking drink some water or get out and be sick outside!

  32. Movie theaters in the Netherlands are pretty good when talking about big people, my friend who is 2,10m high can sit in front of a child and the child can still see the movie

  33. The whole comment section Just looks like bunch of half-assholes Who hope to fully enjoy movie in packed space and hope that not a single human will make a sound

  34. A few years ago i was going to the cinema with my friend and my mum to go see Ghost busters and we were the first ones there and got a seat right up at the top. So we sat down and watched the other people come in and then this huge family of like 12 babies and a fat mum who was smoking and then the mum said "get out of MY seat peasants. These are mine. And then halfway through the film all the babies started crying REALLY loudly and I was thinking SHUT THE FECK UP PATTY JUST GOT POSSESSED OKAY WE ARE WATCHING THE FILM

  35. When I watched any game a few weeks ago at there was a baby in the movie theater and I quietly without anybody hearing me talk to my brother

  36. One of my worst cinema experiences was when I went to see Godzilla: king of monsters, which by the way is terrible, and I had to rewatch kill bill to get it out of my head. But when I was there, this one guy sitting next to me was just laughing his ass off at every single moment of the movie, even when nothing was being said, he just kept laughing and laughing and turning over and talking to his friend, and he was so loud I just wanted to yell “Shut up!” And also the movie was awful with dumb characters, surprisingly bad acting, action without substance, poor attempts at humor, and a dramatic moment that made me chuckle.

  37. I absolutely hate Movie Theater's. The last straw for me was someone brought their fucking dog. It wasn't a service dog either. It panted the entire time and the owners never stopped talking!

  38. In usa you theaters are wild. In my country there are no babys at movies 13+ and people never talk.Cellphone? Or phone? There is required Airplane mode.Food? I guess that we can eat without noise

  39. Some one Talking at 🔊 instead of 🔇.
    Some one with a big head.
    Some one who is 4 seats wide .
    Someone 7 feet tall.
    Someone withe Bush Hair.

    When people eat popcorn.
    When people eat ice.

    People that didn't know the Movie.
    People who know too much about the Book or Video game tha the movie is about.
    Children in a R rated movie.
    People kissing in a G rated movie.
    When You need to look Down at the Movie.
    When you need to look up at the Movie. Some people sleep through the Movie.
    The people who need the Bathroom, but want to see the movie at the Same time.
    The People who watched the Movie 6 times in 1 Day.
    The people who brake the 4th wall by looking back at the Video Camera that is playing the Movie.
    People who only see Horror movies on Halloween and Christmas movies on when it is Winter.
    The people who never watched a movie ,or played a video game ,or opened up a book.
    The people that think that the movie is real life, and the people that are doing Mushrooms ,or drinking Alcohol.
    People who came for Star Trek but are watching Stars Wars ,or people who want The Passion of Chris ,but are in a Harry Potter movie ,or the People who think they are getting Little Mermaid but came in to Saw 8.
    The People who brought Food and Drinks from Home.

  40. I don't like it when things go wrong with the movie.
    I all ways think Fire and I get out of my seat looking for a Exit.

  41. I don't know if this is just a Dutch thing, but most cinema's in The Netherlands do not have a short break in the middle of the movie. Which means you sit there, thirsty throughout the movie. Because you're too afraid you'd need the bathroom.

  42. The last time I went to a theater as of now was when I went to see Avengers: Endgame with my friend and her mother. The three of us were really excited to see the movie, the two of them being Marvel fans for awhile and me being fairly new to the MCU but just as pumped.
    Anyways, we get in there just as the ads were beginning to play and quickly realized that the theater was packed full of idiot elementary school age kids, a group of young boys being the most obnoxious. A little while later, the movie has just begun and one of the boys decides to scream “IRON MAN DIES AT THE END” as loud as he can and one of the others farts so fucking loud I though he shit himself. It really put a damper on everyone’s excitement and my friend’s mom was about two seconds away from murdering everyone in the theater except for us.
    I don’t think the boys got in trouble at all, from staff or their guardians.

  43. I’m ridiculously noise conscious, I try opening packets of stuff and then I’ll just stop for 10 minutes and try it again, get 1/4 of the way, this’ll go on for a while til I get it open.

  44. when i was watching a movie from pixar and little children were SCREAMING and everytime a bad joke came on the moron little kids laugh then explain why it was funny and some were making loud screams for NO REASON! and this was my worst experience so moral of the story don't watch kids movies

  45. As someone who lives in the south, southern movie theaters are the WORST. And I work at one! The theaters are always full of stupid fatass old people that block the screen with their flab, and they say dumb things during movie trailers, even ones that look like the biggest piles of garbage possible like: "Oooh! I wanna see that movie!" Not to mention, the theaters always REEK of rotting diarrhea, because they shit their pants every ten seconds. No joke. Very frequently while the movie is playing, you can hear a loud, wet "PBLLLLLLLLTTTTT!!!" sound. How do I know? Because they have big brown stains on the backs of their pants. The bathroom situation is even worse. The place is always smeared and covered in diarrhea, and the toilets are filled with globs of shit the size of ostrich eggs. Good lord. Just never go to a movie theater in the south, trust me.

  46. What kind of cinemas do you visit?
    The only thing worse than giants taking the seat right in front of me was some idiot teen spilling her fucking Cola all over me after the movie. But babies? Seriously?

  47. I took my mom to see capt mavel and there was like a 1 or 2 year old baby in the theater and the baby was walk up and down the floor i traned my self to just watch the movie i payed 18 bucks for but on time durring the film there was a talking sceen i was trying to listen to film and the baby kicked my mom in the leg.

  48. I seen fatasic beast 2 in IMAX and there was sn little kid crying durring the film. After the movie i was wondering what was a baby doing at an IMAX screening of any movie if i had a kid i would not take they to a IMAX mainly cuz of the louder speekers and most movies are all ready loud

  49. why in the name of fuck do people go to the theaters and play on their phones? seriously, I have this friend who used to go to movies and just stick his nose in his PSP. that's a waste of money! why the hell are you on your PSP when you're supposed to watch what you paid to watch?!

  50. Not to mention you are at risk for getting bedbugs when at a Movie Theater! Bring a garbage bag, and wrap it around the chair. It will make your life a lot easier.

  51. My worst movie expierience was unfortunately endgame

    1.Some retard brought a baby and it cried a bunch

    2.Pretty much the whole theatre would scream for like over a minute whenever something epic happened and you couldn't even enjoy because you couldn't hear dialouge and sound effects

    3.Some retards were talking loudly

    4.People laughed in some moments like when future hulk had a look of disappointment when he saw past hulk and thet laughed at this even though they don't even realize how tragic it was

    5.I didn't feel comfortable because I was basically in a theatre with people that didn't give a crap about marvel or mcu or comics because they are only watching it cuz it's endgame

  52. Who the hell goes to a movie just to play on their phones the whole time and distract everyone in the theater

  53. I got lucky seeing infinity war in the theatre. Sold out showtime, and the entire room was silent up until the end where avengers assembled and everyone was cheering. If anything it added to the great experience

  54. And this is why I wait two to four weeks to see a new movie so I don’t have to sit in a theater with 50 other people

  55. One time when I was wachting Detive Pickach. Some spiuped teenagers phone rang and I was quite pissed. And at the the end of the movie he screams "pika pika". It was a cringy pika pika

  56. When me my mother and sister where watching endgame this woman sitting at the back of where i was sitting and she turned on her phone she kicked the back of my seat and forced to do nothing cause I don’t want to be that asshole.

  57. One thing I hate about movie theaters is when the entire audience laugh at a joke that isn’t even that funny.

  58. Once in my school trip all the kids laughed so loud just because Gru from "Despicable me something" was naked, in a bubble gum and showed his ass.

  59. When I went to see the newer Jumanji, in the middle of the movie I heard a 4 and 7 year old talking… WHO BRING A 4 AND 7 YEAR OLD TO JUMANJI?!

  60. people who clap or cheer during marvel movies then say you're a "fake fan" if you didn't clap are the scum of earth

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