KENZO “The Realest Real”, a movie by Carrie Brownstein
– Abby, please come with me. – Who are those people? – They’re your followers. – One of them just walked away. – Yeah, they’re fickle like that. You’ll never know
what you did wrong, so, don’t even worry about it. – People tell me I look
smug, like in photos. Does it seem like that to you, like I have a smug look on my face? – I think looking happy is worse. You’re fine. Smug, sad is a good combo. – I didn’t say I was sad. – Well here we are. Would you like your
followers to come in with you so you can tell how you’re doing? – No, I’m alright. – Okay then, good luck. And I should’ve said this earlier, but congratulations. – Hello. Welcome to the Institute of
the Real and Really Real. I’m the Minister of
Public Private Relations. Puppy? We’re teaching them
how to take selfies. But I understand the hesitation. Selfie’s a big responsibility. Abby, do you know why you’re here? – Um no, no. – You’re here because we’ve chosen you. Life’s one long application
and I’ve read yours. Very, very impressive. – What is that? – Every e-mail or text message you’ve ever sent or received, every comment you’ve ever posted posted on social media or blog. – I thought all that stuff
was being stored in the cloud. – That is the cloud Abby.
Your small piece of it. So according to our records,
on March 8th of this year, the actress Natasha Lyonne posted the following on Instagram: “It must be really cool to work at NASA.” Do you recall what you
replied to this comment about our national space program? You wrote Mom. A term of affection implying that you’re
so fond of Ms. Lyonne, that you wish she were your mother. I’m gonna ask you something Abby and I’d like for you
to answer me honestly. Do you want Ms. Lyonne to
actually be your mother? – Yes? – See, that’s what I thought. Abby, I’d like you to meet your new mom. – Hey kiddo. I’m Natasha. I guess just call me Mom. – Oh God. I’ve loved you for so long. – I have loved you for so little, but I am proud of you. – For what? – For being a big fan of mine. – How old are you? -34 – I’m 26. – Oh yeah, I’m 32. Nice place. – Thank you. – Yeah.
– Thanks. – Abby! Where ya from again? – Cleveland. – Ah, that’s right. The land of the Cleve, huh? – Yep. My allergies
are up again sweetie. Maybe it’s a mold thing or a dust day. Thank you. – Are you okay? – Ugh, Mom drink some water. Oh don’t do this again. You can’t do this in public, it’s really. – Got it. Um look, we got the same thing sweetie. Oh there it is, I couldn’t hear the beep. Hi Abby baby. I — love — you.
I love you so much. You’re my little tiny baby. Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I was touching you even. What’s going on, are you single? But have you been to Tahoe? Who’d you go with? – Friends, you know. – Oh, who, which friends? – Um Maya, James. – Um hmm, James. Do I know him? You got a little something sweetie. No. Come here, here comes Mommy. Yeah, just check in or… I can call you later. – Oh my god. Oh god, please– – Oh please, what do you care if I die? – That is adorable. – Yeah. – Look at you two. – Yeah, I know, I know. We were so happy that Wednesday. Oh hey hun, have you met Karen? – Hey. I’m her mother. – I’m her mother. – Abby? I’m her mom. – I’m her mom.
– I’m her mom. – I’m her mom. – I am her mom. – I am her mom. – I’m her mom.
– I’m her mom. – I’m her mom. – I’m her mom. – Oh September 30th, Kim
Gordon posted a photo of a pair of pants flung
onto a hotel floor. – Great shot.
– Thank you. – Beneath that photo, you, Patrick, wrote marry me. Well today Patrick, and
this is why I love my job, you, get to marry Kim. By the power vested in
me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. – Stop!
– Sorry, sir! – Abby! So lovely to see you,
and how’s your mother? – Which one? – The real one. – I’m her mom.
– I’m her mom. – I’m her mom.
– I’m her mom. – I’m her mom.
– I’m her mom. – Bonjour Abby. Uh it’s Mom, Natasha. – I saw a really great blouse and I wanted to get it for you. I wasn’t sure if you were gonna like it. I don’t want you to have to
deal with returns and whatever, I know it’s so annoying. But I do think you’ll
probably get a store credit. So, you know what, I don’t
want you to wait on the phone, just call me back, check on.