Mad Lib Theater with Tom Cruise (Mission: Impossible Edition)

-Here’s how it works. -I’m gonna ask you
for some silly words — nouns, verbs, adjectives,
et cetera — and as we do that, they’ll be
written on the cue cards, and then, we’re gonna act out
a very dramatic Mad Lib scene. -Okay.
-Very dramatic. I mean, have you seen my work?
-I have, I have. -Really, very, yeah.
-It’s excellent. -Thank you.
-You won a Grammy. -Yeah, I did win a Grammy
for my acting. For my acting.
Thank you. [ Laughs ]
All right, here we go. Ready? -Yes.
-Name of a cute puppy. -Uh, uh, My Little Cookie. [ Laughter ] -That actually is cute.
-Yeah. -My Little Cookie.
-Okay. -A silly word.
-Uh… What?
[ Laughter ] Pollywog.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ] Adjective.
-Amazing. -A plural type of profession.
-Plural type of profession? -Plural, it’s even hard to say.
-Okay. Plural type of profession.
How about sanitation engineers? [ Laughter ] -What? Okay.
-I don’t know. -The cue-card guy’s going,
“Are you kidding me?” Type of ’80s technology? -Walkman.
-Oh, yeah. -Isn’t that ’80s, right?
-Yeah. Loved my Walkman.
-Yeah, loved that. -Something you buy on eBay.
-Sneakers. [ Laughter ]
Or vintage clothes. Which do you look better? -Vintage sneakers.
-Vintage sneakers. [ Laughter ] -What you would shout if you saw
a spider crawling up your leg. -Uh… -Ew!
It’s crawling up your leg! -Come here, darling! [ Laughter ] What?
-Come here what? -Come here, darling.
[ Laughter and applause ] -“Come here, darling.”
Oh, my gosh. [ Laughter ] Type of relative.
-Aunt. -Aunt. Woman’s name.
-Um, Ingrid. -Ingrid.
[ Laughter ] Number. -1,000,256. [ Laughter ] -Plural objects. -Uh… Sofas. -Curse word
a first-grader would use? -Doodie-head. [ Laughter ] -It’s classic.
Classic. -Classic. -Fictional character. -Um… Uh, Huckleberry Finn.
-Huckleberry Finn. -Something you’d find
in the kitchen. -Knife. -These are all good. Give me another number. -Seven.
[ Laughter ] -Celebrity name. -How about… Ingrid Bergman. -All right.
[ Laughter ] -Ingrid — I don’t know.
-Yeah, Ingrid Bergman. A verb ending in -ing. -Running. -Another adjective. -Uh… Humongous. -These are good words.
Plural animals. -Lemmings.
[ Laughter ] -That’s fantastic, dude. Lemmings.
What? A verb ending in -ing.
Another one. -A verb ending in -ing.
-You said running already. -Yeah, I said running. Give me another verb like what?
-Kissing. -Yeah, kissing, kissing,
there you go. Thank you.
Thank you. -Favorite song lyric. -Favorite song —
I don’t know. Uh… [ Laughter ] -Poopy-di-scoop.
-Poopy-di-scoop? -Poopy-di-scoop.
-Is that a lyric? -Yeah, it’s a lyric.
Yeah, it is. -Poopy-di-scoop.
All right. Yeah.
Thank you. [ Laughter and applause ] -It’s good.
-Good. -Okay. All right. We’ve filled out the words
for our scene. Are you ready to perform?
-Let’s do it, man. -Let’s do this.
Here we go. -Let’s do this.
Let’s go. [ Cheers and applause ] [ Both laugh ] [ Dramatic music plays ] -Good evening…
My Little Cookie. [ Laughter ] [ Laughter and applause ] Special Director Pollywog.
It’s good to see you again. -I’m here
with your next mission. A criminal organization
of the world’s most amazing
sanitation engineers hacked into
the government’s Walkman, stealing their top-secret report
on vintage sneakers. [ Laughter ] [ Laughter and applause ] -Come here, darling. [ Laughter ] -I understand your reaction. The group also kidnapped
your Aunt Ingrid and is holding her for a ransom
of 1,000,256 sofas. [ Laughter ] -Where the doodie-head are
we gonna get 1,000,256 sofas? -I don’t know,
but we have to move fast. -I have a plan. I’ll meet up with the group
disguising as myself — disguising myself
as Huckleberry Finn. Jesus… [ Laughter ] -So far —
So far, I’m on board. -If they attack,
I’ll fight back with a knife. [ Laughter ] -Great. This disk contains sensitive
information that might help. -What’s on this disk? -Seven photos
of Ingrid Bergman running. [ Laughter ] -Come here, darling. [ Laughter ] I’ve already contacted my team
of highly humongous lemmings. [ Laughter ] -You’re the best agent we have. How do you prepare
for such tense missions? -By waking up every morning,
going up on the roof, and kissing and by repeating
my own personal mantra — poopy-di-scoop, poopy-di-scoop. [ Laughter, cheers, applause ] -And scene!
-And scene. -And scene! My thanks
to Tom Cruise right there! We’ll be right back
with Parker Posey! Tom Cruise!
[ Laughing ]

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