Movies I Thought Were Weird
Do you all remember that classic kids movie made in the 70’s about a pig and a spider? …Yeah. Charlotte’s Web? Remember how it made us a lot of money– I-I mean… Remember how it ended… on a cliffhanger? (Confused murmurs) YEAH! BIG CLIFFHANGER! IT’S BEEN 30 YEARS! EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT SPIDER! D: The spider DIED, Ethan! Oh, I didn’t… watch it… But you got one thing right. Everyone IS wondering what happened next. The first movie wasn’t satisfying enough! America needs… a SEQUEL. Who would watch that– AND THEN 3 YEARS LATER, WE CAN MAKE A LIVE-ACTION VERSION! 😀 Now you’re speaking my language, Ethan! Everyone else you’re FIRED! For some reason, movie producers and showrunners think that kids… are stupid. And don’t know what good content is. They probably think that as long as a kids’ show is a cartoon, and it’s moving, they’ll love it. Well, here’s the truth, Hollywood! The cartoons don’t HAAAVE to move! …But you do need to write likeable characters and a plot that actually makes sense. The only people who know what kids like these days… are YouTubers! Amiright, fellow youths? #Lit 👌👌👌👌👌👌 #PokemonGoToThePolls!!1! I thought I had pretty low standards as a kid. But sometimes I’d be watching a show and even I’d think, “This is weird. Why does this need to exist? Why are the animals singing?” One of my favorite shows growing up was Yu-Gi-Oh. And I’ve actually been re-watching some of the episodes while I work on videos. Not because I enjoy it this time, but because it’s good background noise, and sometimes the show will say something that’s so stupid, it’s good. “Mokuba, what do I always tell you? If at first you don’t succeed… BLAST ‘EM WITH YOUR BLUE EYES AGAIN.” (OH SHOOT) Anyway, because I’m an adult, I bought and framed three Yu-Gi-Oh cards. And dang it! These cards are too small to even fit in the frame.. I don’t even know why I liked Yu-Gi-Oh so much. It was basically just anime characters playing the exact same card game over and over. Yu-Gi-Oh would be losing, he would give a speech about friendship, or the heart of the cards, and then he would draw the Yu-Gi-Oh must-win card. And most of the time, he wouldn’t even play by the rules. And then rinse and repeat that formula for 200 more episodes and four spin-offs, and you’ve got yourself a successful anime! I think Yu-Gi-Oh was the first sign that gaming channels were going to be a thing… Kids just love watching other people play games… …Cuz they suck at them. Okay, enough about Japanese cartoons. if Yu-Gi-Oh was able to keep my hyperactive attention span engaged, then what TV shows did I think were weird even as a kid? Keep in mind that these opinions are coming from someone who thought the Star Wars prequels were good. So…. Meesa take it with a grain of salt! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. To be fair I’ve never seen a single episode of TMNT. From what I hear, it’s a good series. But just the concept by itself was enough for my kid brain to think, “This show is silly and I’m not gonna watch it.” Like, come on, ninja turtles? That’s a little weird seeing that turtles are slow and aren’t very maneuverable. Help, I’m a turtle and I can’t get up! They’re mutants? Okay, I guess that makes sense. AND they’re teenagers?! Teenagers are mean to me! This is where I draw the line! Those are three adjectives that don’t belong in a sentence together! And they’re named after famous Renaissance artists?! PFFFFFT- Why don’t you just give them NORMAL turtle names like… Sheldon? Whatever! Let’s go watch a real show about Japanese people playing card games! I used to think that the Powerpuff Girls was a girlie TV show, so I never watched it. But then the show got rebooted, and everyone on the Internet was saying how much they used to love the original. And all I could think was, “Man, if only I wasn’t a sexist baby.” Do you guys remember Zoboomafoo? Zoboomafoo was this show on PBS Kids, where a lemur and these two brothers named the Kratt brothers would teach kids all about wild animals. I always thought that the two brothers were named the Crap brothers, and I only just learned their real names… right now, when I looked up how to spell Zoboomafoo. Also, they have a website, and it looks like this. Anyway, one of the episodes was all about eggs. The Crap brothers talked all about the different kinds of eggs animals lay, and then the lemur asks, “What’s it like to be in an egg?” And then one of the Crap brothers just appears in a giant egg and says [in unison] “It’s pretty squishy and gooey in here!” And he brought a pizza with him. “PIZZAAA!” 😀 I watched that episode as a kid and had two questions: One: How’d he get inside the egg? And two: What laid him? The more I thought about it, the weirder I felt. This is how fetishes start, PBS! “Can you believe my brother is inside this egg?” (NO D:) Now, when I think back to movies I thought were weird as a kid, the first thing that comes to mind were those fricking “American Mouse Tail” ones. They’re about these mice trying to immigrate to America. Good luck doing a 2017 reboot! (murmurs to self) Dirty mouselums.. Also, I have to talk about all those bad Disney sequels. They’re ALL bad. Don’t tell me, “Oh! I thought the Little Mermaid 2 was alright!” No! They’re all bad! My least favorite one was the Hunchback of Notre Dame II. I remember one time I watched both movies back-to-back, and just having seen the first movie, and then seeing the opening scene in the second one I thought, “Wha-What is this?! This should be called The Hunchback of Notre DUMB!” I know those Disney sequels were just an easy way for Hollywood to make money, but think about how much more money they could’ve made if they just made good sequels. There was this one movie called “Quest for Camelot”. And as a kid, I liked this movie. It wasn’t on my top 10, but it was alright. There was this one Griffin who I thought looked cool and had a funny voice. “Precisely, Precisely, PrecISE!” Precisely… :3 However, there’s one part in the movie, and if you’ve already seen this movie, you probably know what I’m gonna talk about, where a two-headed dragon sings a song about wanting to be separated from the other dragon. There’s a LOT of things wrong with this song. I don’t want to go too in depth, but at one part, They dress up as Cher and Elvis for some reason. Except kids who watch this or too young to know or care about these people. And any adults watching this with their kids are just thinking, “This is uncomfortable.” Keep in mind that it takes a team of people to animate something like this. This song had to go through multiple, well-paid professional songwriter people, and they all had to look at the scripts and go, “Yeah! This is definitely a good idea!” The last movie that I suppressed… was Charlotte’s Web. Two: Wilbur’s Great Adventuuure. I don’t think enough people are talking about this movie. I thought the first one was a classic story about a pig who cheats death because a nerd spider took pity on him. Also, I just want to talk about this one scene in the first movie where Wilbur found out the farmers are gonna kill him, so he started crying, “I don’t wanna die!” “I don’t wanna die!” “I DON’T WANNA DIE!” (Kid Friendly! :D) I know this pig isn’t even real, but that scene was the closest thing to turning me vegan. (Other than Infinite Waters) The sequel is exactly what you’d expect from a sequel made 30 years after the original to be. They did change the character to design a lot. I guess all these celebrities are still doing plastic surgery. Look what they made Charlotte look like in the sequel! The reason I bring up this movie is because of a scene towards the end. So, this one character just can’t fit in with all the other farm animals. He’s a black sheep. (I guess he’s the Odd1Out *wink wonk*) Literally. They made him a black sheep. He was doomed to be an outcast from the start. And then a fox has a musical number, attacks the farm, and then goes after the black sheep. “The other.. other! White meat…” But it doesn’t kill and eat the black sheep right there. No no no. Instead, he kidnaps… or “sheepnaps” the sheep and takes into an abandoned house, as any fox would do. And then, I don’t know if I’m interpreting this the wrong way, but watching this scene, I was picking up some creepy non-advertiser-friendly vibes. The fox is basically telling the sheep, [laughter] Just eat him already! Stop licking your lips! D: Look what he does with his tail, and tell me you’re not picking up some sexual tension! There’s even a part where the sheep started to run away, but then the fox dragged him back down. “Mm, mm, mm! Where you think you’re going sheep boy?” (FAMILY FRIENDLY!) [inhales] [exhales dramatically whilst smacking face even more dramatically with some really good animation] I’m gonna be a furry. If you’re weirded out by this, don’t worry, I was too. And also we’re all done! Those were all the movies and shows that weren’t too far suppressed down for me to tell you about. I asked a friend what movies weirded them out as a kid, and they said The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Wha-What are you talking about? That was a great movie! Get on my level, scrub! I used to watch foxes seduce their meals before they vored them! Were there any movies or TV shows that weirded you out as a kid? Write it down… in a journal… and give it to your parents and blame them for letting you watch television. Okay, so I got some Christmas merch up in the merch store, so if you want to support the channel that’d be nice. I think they look cool. Since this video came out so late, the Black Friday sale that would have come on on Black Friday is now going on right now from today until Friday the first. So, you know, if you wanted to get your mom a Christmas present, now it would be a good time. Link in the description Oooooor BAM! Link to it in the end-card! So what’s with all these different colored penguins scrolling by? Well, if you follow me on Twitter.. you’d understand it. YEAH I’M BEGGING FOR TWITTER FOLLOWERS, but I’m trying to get verified here. Also, I have some full-time colorers now, so thanks guys and remember: Seatbelts save fifteen thousand people every year, so wear them.