“Shia LaBeouf” Live – Rob Cantor

“Shia LaBeouf” Live – Rob Cantor


You’re walking in the woods There’s no one around and your phone is dead Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him Shia LaBeouf He’s following you about thirty feet back He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint He’s gaining on you Shia LaBeouf You’re looking for your car but you’re all turned around He’s almost upon you now, and you can see… There’s blood on his face My God, there’s blood everywhere! Running for your life from Shia LaBeouf He’s brandishing a knife, it’s Shia LaBeouf Lurking in the shadows Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf) Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf) Eating all the bodies Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf Now it’s dark, and you seem to have lost him But you’re hopelessly lost yourself Stranded with a murderer You creep silently through the underbrush Aha! In the distance, a small cottage with a light on – hope! You move stealthily toward it… But your leg! Ah! It’s caught in a bear trap! Gnawing off your leg (quiet, quiet) Limping to the cottage (quiet, quiet) Now you’re on the doorstep Sitting inside, Shia LaBeouf Sharpening an axe (Shia LaBeouf) But he doesn’t hear you enter (Shia LaBeouf) You’re sneaking up behind him Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf Stab it in his kidney Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf You limp into the dark woods Blood oozing from your stump leg You’ve beaten Shia LaBeouf Wait! He isn’t dead! Shia surprise! There’s a gun to your head and death in his eyes But you can do Jiu Jitsu Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf But blood is draining fast from your stump leg He’s dodging every swipe, he parries to the left You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck You’re chopping off his head now You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf His head topples to the floor, expressionless You fall to your knees and catch your breath You’re finally safe from Shia LaBeouf

100 thoughts on ““Shia LaBeouf” Live – Rob Cantor

  1. After all these years I'm still amazed about just how much effort and money was put into this very, very stupid joke.
    And it's still funny. In fact, it's probably gotten funnier in hindsight.
    Shia Surprise!

  2. 2014 me, who thought he was surely straight: This is my jam let's listen every day

    2019 me, who as it turns out is not straight: Oh wow, glad to see this holds up after all these years. Always fun returning to my old loves for that sweet sweet nostalgia

    …Also god DAMN is Rob Cantor hot as shit

  3. Fun Fact: the audio is such good quality because it was done in post, the actual version had to be dubbed over because Shia couldn’t stop laughing

  4. My teacher played this in class because a boy in my class kept talking about this video. It was a nice class.

  5. imagine being a choreographer and somebody explains to you that your job is to create an interpretative dance about hollywood superstar shia labeouf being a cannibal

  6. The fact of the matter is that there's absolutely no reason for this to exist

    but now I don't know what I'd do without it

  7. this is now the best song ever made ever. also this must be the funniest moment of anyone of these people lives.

  8. This is so good from every imaginable angle! Going to use it in my teaching, for all sorts of things… 😜

  9. Exercising to this is great, especially on t)3 treadmill. You’re running from Shia Leboeuf, And then when the song is over, Shia is clapping for you because you did a good job! 😆

  10. I would legit pay to see this at a music hall. This man has figured out how to preserve symphonic art in the new world/time. Praise this man as the harold of culture he is!!!

  11. This couldn't be what I think it is. Clicks
    IT IS. And I can't help but laugh because I'm genuinely entertained.

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