Stop Your Bloody Phones! RANT – Cinema/Theatre etiquette


It’s standard rules in the cinema, right,
they’re called cinema etiquette; if anyone listens to Kermode reviews, they are patrons
of the cinema rules of etiquette which I abide by because they make sense. Phones! I don’t
know about you guys, but as time is going on, I remember being a kid when you had to
turn off the phone, that was the thing. And now most people just put to airplane mode
which I’m totally fine with, but don’t get the phone out in the middle of the movie.
-I only put it on airplane mode because it takes like shorter time to put it on airplane
mode rather than turning it off. -Yeah because airplane mode automatically you don’t get
any receiving calls and nobody can message you. -Right! -Like, nobody can get in touch
with you, your phone’s not gonna go off so it isn’t gonna disturb the piece. But
the thing is if you bring your phone out and I can see the glare, it takes me out the movie,
and I saw… four phones throughout the screening of IT, two of which were in the raw that we
were sitting in. I’m talking to you blonde young girl who was probably not 15 and should
not have been seeing this movie, right, I swear to God I wanted to pick up your phone
and throw it at the screen, I was so annoyed! I don’t care if you’re on Snapchat, right,
what is so important in your life that “Oh my god it’s so scary” that you have to tell
everyone? What is going on? -It’s only 2 hours 15 min – aww let me put a dog filter
on so that everyone can see I’m scared… -Hahaha -Jesus Christ man! And then there
was another person in front, this one I’m ok with because it was like they must have
drop something so they had, like, the back lit to see where they were going, like what
seat they went to sit… -But that is so bright. -Yeah, at least put night safety mode on,
like every phone now has that unless you’re my father and still have a Nokia. -Haha -Actually,
that’s not true, my dad did have a Nokia but they cut off cellular coverage, so apparently
Nokia bricks are like, they cut them off so he had to get a flip phone so like he’s now
one of the extras in The Wire. -So, you are not immersed enough in the thing that you
noticed? Because I did not notice anything. -It’s like, I sometimes move about ‘cause
I am a fidgeter, which is annoying but.. I moved and, it’s like you know if you see something
and then you cannot not see it -Hmm -so as soon as I saw one, if I saw the light again,
I was like “Oh, for God’s sake” and honestly she was either checking the time or checking
her messages and I know that she was on Snapchat before the movie started so I’m, like, not
happy. Who’s snap chatting in a movie theatre?
What? -That’s so ridiculous. -What? Who are you? Who, Who are you, girl? -Hehehe -I’m
not happy at her. -Especially because, you know, we are actors and we’ve pretty much,
well we want to be in the industry, and in these films and to know that people just kind
of watch it like… it’s kind of noth… also, wait till it’s out on DVD then! – Yeah,
that’s what I said to Anouk. -What is your problem? -If you can’t sit for 2 hours and
15, without getting your phone out, just wait till it’s on streaming or DVD, because then
you can do it all you like, I’m not gonna be there. -Yeah, that’s right. -It annoys
me as a creative, I think, seeing anything creative and seeing people just like kinda
take it for granted. -Yeah, not being interested. -It’s annoying because d’you know how
hard these people work; like, I know it’s the cinema and it’s so, kind of, you have
how many screenings a day and it’s so easy for you to kinda come in and out but… -Anouk,
do you wanna tell the listeners about our experience at Shawshank Redemption the stage
play? -So, as you’ve probably noticed, and I’ve
probably said a few times, me and Adam are a thing and… I was -Sorry ladies. -Yes,
apologies. -Sorry girl. -I stole him from every… -Sorry girl who was on Snapchat,
I’m actually secretly negging you. -Hahahaha -Yeah, so we went to the stage play of Shawshank
Redemption in Glasgow’s… What theatre production was it? -It was the -Queen -No,
it was the King’s Theatre. -King’s Theatre – The one near the Conservatoire, it’s an
ATG theatre, I think it’s the King’s. -King’s Theatre and it was good, I mean
the first act was a little bit slow and energy was quite low but they picked up in the second
half and we were actually really enjoying it but the really famous monologue made by
Morgan Freeman in the film was done with one guy on a chair pretty much centre stage and…
two phones went off, mid-monologue. And it just ruins the whole aesthetic of it because
you’re feeling it, you’re in it, you’re involved and even in film when sometimes,
you know, because it’s a screen and there not actually there, there is a bit of a disconnect,
you’re still immersed in a film as Yann was saying, like, you usually don’t notice
these things but the thing is, is that either way, you’re immersed in something and if
you don’t have your phone on silent, at least on silent… -Just goes to show how
dependant people are on phones. -It’s, but it’s so ridiculous, especially because we’ve
been on stage a few times -Yeah. -and having a phone go off while you’re on stage is the
worst thing in the world because, especially if you’re in theatre, you’re there as well,
acting your ass off, working so hard; I think a lot of people forget the entertainers work.
-Yeah. -We work hard, we’re not just doing it for your… like, this is our job, we do
this every day. We work our fucking asses off for you guys so, we want a little bit
of respect innit? -There’s the force of habit also because, you know the fringe audience
is well versed in all that because in the full month we did I don’t recall any kind
of phone troubles. -Here’s what happens, because it was the second act of the play,
people go out for the interval, check their phones, they don’t turn them off again,
people forget because… -Yeah. -they rush back to the seats because it’s like “The
show is about to resume please take your seats” -Especially the old part of the audience is
because, you know, they’re not on their phones all the time so they forget. -The other
thing is, like, if one phone goes off, you gonna check, I check; if my phone is in my
pocket and I hear somebody’s phone go off I’m like “Oh sssh, oh shit, is that mine,
no?” And it’s not because I don’t put it on at the interval because I know I’d
forget. -That’s just the first stage because there are some people who actually take the
call. -Ohhh, Jesus… -Yeah well, I’m sure I have been in a cinema when someone actually
answered the call and it’s kinda have been this “Sorry, aaa, I can’t talk right now”
and it’s like… Sorry, what were you, what were you? Like… No! That, that, no. Just
no! There’s no reason why you had to pick up that phone. -Oh, that’s worse than “Yeah,
well, the movie is shit anyway so how’s your… -Oh God! -How has your day been? -I
am so happy that I haven’t been in that situation before but I can imagine it would
send me reeling. -If I was on stage, that’s the point as an actor, you can. Could you
break the wall for that, I would. -I think -Well, I say that.. -I think it depends on
the theatre production ‘cause actually if you’re at the Fringe like what we were doing
last year, this kind of thrust, like, three rows, you know there’s not many people.
-Yeah -And you were doing one monologue, which a few of us were, and it’s only you and
the phone goes off, I would definitely just turn around and maybe make a joke or… -Well
it depends on the piece I guess because in improv and comedy it’s actually -Yeah -it
becomes part of the thing but in a theatre play when you are actually a character…
-If you were doing a Shakespeare you could maybe get away with it, maybe, if you… -An
aside. -If you were that well -Oh a bird… -versed in the Elizabethan Shakespearean language
-Yeah -I would love to do that, I would love to have the skill of that language, to be
able to go “I shall take the call, ahhh, a messenger has arrived, young squire please
let me inform you of the deeds of this tale. -I’m sorry, it cannot wait my Lord.” Something
like that. -That would be amazing. -“My Lord, I’ve just received a message and it
seems one of the players has too.” -You can’t switch it but I mean there’s a YouTube
video of this that me and Adam were watching of someone’s Nokia going off and it was
the classic Nokia ringtone (ringtone) -and they were at a, like a recital, it was guy
on a… -Oh yeah! -violin, and so he just stops his piece and plays the Nokia ringtone
-on his cello -It was beautiful, check it out! -I’ve seen it. -We’ll put a link
in the podcast. -Oh, and it’s so well timed ‘cause it’s just… and you could see
the anger in his face, like “you have just ruined the most beautiful music and I’ve
put so much effort into this, you know, I’m not just here, you know, I’ve done this
for 5 seconds of my life, like” Musicians work their fucking asses off and you can’t
even turn your phone off ohh it’s just… -And that concludes the public address part
of -Yes so… -The Good, The Bad and The Just Plain Standard. People answering their phones
or checking their phones in the cinemas are just plain standard. -Leave it at home!

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