The Story of the First Friendsgiving
– [Announcer] Thank you everyone. Let’s all take a seat because
the show is about to begin. (applause) And now, the story of
the first Friendsgiving. Long, long ago in 2005
in the land of Brooklyn. A pioneer name Aspen came
to live by his belief that he should be a singer songwriter. (applause) I am an artist. ‘Sup dogs. Aspen could not go home for Thanksgiving because he didn’t want to. Sorry Mom, I’m really slammed. See you at Christmas! Oh no my favorite bars are closed! I know what I’ll do.
I’ll make a new holiday that takes place on Thanksgiving. I’ll call it Friendsgiving. Aspen put forth the call far and wide. That all might come to Friendsgiving. Like give me a heads up how many total. (applause) Tight. Sounds cool. Sunglasses emoji. All the friends brought something to share and this is what they brought. (applause) I am beer! I am one raw potato.
That’s Thanksgiving, right? I’m a weird rice thing brought by a Vegan. There’s plenty of me for everyone. – [Friends] Gross! This is going great. Now it’s time to put
the turkey in the oven. I am Aspen’s oven. I’ve never
been used and I’m always. Always been. Been. Broken. Broken. Oh no my oven is broken
and there’s not enough food and I only have one chair! What will I do? And in Aspen’s darkest hour, a Friendsgiving miracle did occur. I’m a native Brooklyn drug dealer. I have drugs for sale. – [Friends] Yay! Drugs! And so everyone ate and
drank and smoked a little pot because they didn’t have to
worry about their parents. Everyone’s sure Grace and
Jeff went home together. Because of me! – [Friends] Gross! And that’s the story of why
we celebrate Friendsgiving every year until we grow up. (applause) That’s cultural appropriation. Hi it’s Zack from College
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